The nice and the nasty help understanding

[Mellow]

So we had a little argument via social media not really spoken only very few words then all of a sudden he becomes rageful in my presence (words only)I said to stop and to not speak of it again that I’d forgot about it felt like he wanted to intimidate I proceeded to say whatever your trying to do it’s not working I said he been putting me down for a while spiritually since the argument funny looks .criticising things I’ve done I’ve not responded to I said I hope you know how this is affecting me then all of a sudden within a few minutes he’s back to being nice again as if it never just happened it’s like he didn’t just have the anger and the anger is bad it’s like rage why do they do this the nicety is almost immediately that’s what I don’t understand because I’m still upset and they go back to being nice within a few minutes

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Mellow

As you are aware, abuse is a cycle, and what you’ve described in your post so clearly, is exactly that.

This rinse and repeat cycle is never-ending. Its not going to go away I’m afraid, you’re stuck with it sadly because he’s abusive, and as you’ll find out, if you haven’t already, this isn’t about the words, its about intimidating you only.

Its a horrible way to live every day and I hope you are doing ok.

warmest wishes

ts

[Bananaboat]

It’s to keep you on your toes, keep you anxious and compliant, to tell you ‘he’s boss’, to make you scared to go against him, to destroy your confidence. As TS said, it’s the cycle of abuse but as you’re nearing leaving him, the cycle intensifies because he’s losing control. This time can be dangerous as the rage shows, so look after yourself

[Anonymous]

Hi I’m in the same situation. He’s so nasty and rude one evening and in the morning he acts like it never happened. Like we had a minor disagreement over the weather. It’s hard because you never know what you are coming home to or where you stand. Not sure how to manage myself around it.

[Mellow]

It’s the walking on egg shells feeling

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Jipbird

I’m sorry this is happening to you. This is not something for you to manage. This is something he will not stop doing and can bring you very low. You don’t have to live this way. Noone has to live this way.

Living on eggshells breaks you and it doesn’t take long of living that way.

Look at your choices, see you have choices, and think through what you deserve as this isn’t it.

warmest wishes

ts

[Author]

Posts