- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by Camel.
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22nd September 2020 at 10:53 am #114088ImageshaParticipant
Hi.
In the process of realizing my situation and reading online about it, I found out that an emotionally abusive partner can slowly become physically violent. I was wondering how often this transition happens.
Especially in cases where it looked like “he would never go that far”. I won’t go into details, but lately he has started doing some rather disturbing gestures.. of course, if I ask him, he is just joking…
That is happening since I started to try and put boundaries. -
22nd September 2020 at 11:47 am #114092HazydayzParticipant
Hi again Imagesha. This is a question you might be asking yourself and it is a Red Flag sign that you need to take notice of!A warning sign! lots of us worry about. It can be that you are seeing this when they feel they are losing control over you. Your abuser will definately make bigger attempts to dominate you. The book living with the dominator that KIP I see mentioned to you on your other post should provide the answer to your questions. Check it out if you can? đź’ž
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22nd September 2020 at 11:53 am #114093ImageshaParticipant
Thanks Hazydayz! I will see about the book, maybe a kindle version.. he is currently monitoring the mail box among other things. He would not like the book.
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23rd September 2020 at 10:21 pm #114200CamelParticipant
Hi Imagesha
I expect the answer is complicated. If your abuser feels he is losing control he will use whatever means necessary to put you back in your place.
Some abusers start early on with physical violence. Later on, just the threat of assault will be enough. The victim will do anything to prevent an attack and will live with the constant stress of ‘what’s coming.’
Other abusers start with coercive control and escalate from there. Arguments might get more scary – shouting, foaming at the mouth, breaking things, throwing things, blocking your exit, slamming doors, driving dangerously. Next is pushing and shoving. Often we minimise this kind of behaviour as we don’t have bruises. However, this is already physical abuse. They are using their physicality to control, punish, threaten.
Probably we’re all told to see physical violence as the ‘worst’ kind of abuse. And maybe that anything else isn’t as bad. But it’s all bad.
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