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    • #131707
      Bettychoc
      Participant

      We’ve been together a long time, married for the last few years. We have nearly adult children and have had lots of good times, how can it be abuse?
      He’s been controlling since the beginning, over money, where I went, who I went with. He’d call me names to his friends, embarrass and humiliate me, but I still went beck for more- probably because I’d had a difficult childhood and he also claimed me as his so made me feel wanted bizarrely.
      Over the years, he’s had “breakdowns” and walked out of jobs, well paid jobs that had afforded us a lovely lifestyle, and I’ve been left to deal with bills and the ensuing debt when I couldn’t manage it all. Time and time again our close friends and our children have witnessed him being awful to me, days of not speaking and banging things about. His drinking got completely out of hand and he started fights most nights. It became unbearable when he began directing his anger at my youngest.
      He’s told me to pack my bags so many times over the years and thrown me and the kids out. He did it t hi s time for no reason and I watched how humiliated (detail removed by moderator). I made my mind up that it would be the last time and so I left and haven’t been back.
      He’s desperate to get me back, not so much the kids, but I’ve sorted out a house. I earn really good money now so don’t rely on him financially. I’ve told him to sell the house but he’s still trying to control me from afar.
      I’ve had stress related conditions the last wee while but they are clearing now, from the outside I can see that I had been emotionally abused and controlled for years and the good times do not make up for the bad. I’m glad I’m out and determined to keep control of my own life from now on.

    • #131723
      KIP.
      Participant

      Wow you’ve answered your own question! Yes there is another life out there and you’re only just finding it. It’s abuse free, it’s wonderful and stress free. The colour comes back into a black and whit life. Read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven and know your enemy. Of course he wants you back. Abusing you has fulfilled him and made him so happy. He’s lost his toy and he hates it. Power to you x talk to your local women’s aid x

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