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    • #31693
      bubbles
      Participant

      So I had a huge presentation to give last week the night before my mum hacked my emails and sent me photos until 2am of her hacking my emails luckily my phone was on silent but i had to wake up and deal with her while trying to get 2 kids ready for school and myself for where i had to be. Not only did she hack them she cancelled holidays and restaurant bookings because she was scared i was back with my ex abuser (who i haven’t spoken to in years and made clear i had no interest in)

      To make matters worse i graduated my father couldn’t make the ceremony because “it’s his weekend too” meaning my graduation ceremony is too boring for him. So anyway my mum came my goldenchild sister phoned her all the way through the day giving her updates on booking her driving test (which my dad referred to as more of a celebration than me graduating) my mother also forced us to leave immediately after the ceremony leaving my lecturers standing at the door asking me why we were running out without having a drink or saying goodbye. My sister refuses point blank to acknowledge the fact i graduated at all only smiling smugly at me. Not one of them has told me well done or that they are proud all my mum has said is comments on how she hopes my aunt (her sister) has seen them because she will be jealous.

      What is wrong with these people?????? not one of my members of family can be happy for me? why are they so into getting one over on another family member? all of them!

    • #31695
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi bubbles. Congratulations. That’s some achievement with two kids too👏👏👏
      Unfortunately something I learned is that someone you have known for five minutes can have better intentions for you than someone you’ve known your whole life. And you can’t choose your family. Keep doing what you’re doing. You don’t need their approval 🍾🍾🍾

    • #31698
      bubbles
      Participant

      Thankyou KIP, It has all pushed me to do more this is only the beginning of going as far as i can with my studying and seeing the jealousy of my sister well it all just wants to make me do better and go further I might aswell be educated as far as my brain and finances will allow me to be!

      Iv worked through the abusers in my mind im over all the domestic abuse it’s just the child abuse i suffered and the adult child abuse i’m still suffering which i think im only beginning to work through. They are all just so unreasonable!

    • #31732
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Hi bubbles,
      Whan I graduated from my A levels my parents were too busy to come. I was the only kid all alone without the parents present. On top of that my father had bought me a cheap and really ugly black velvet blazer for that occasion. Normally velvet blazers are beautiful, but that one was so ugly and looked dead cheap. I looked like a lonely homeless person there, not like a student who had achieved top grades.

      Later I did a (detail removed by moderator) graduation in my profession that I had achieved without help and my parents were not interested, neither my siblings. Since I am in the UK I had two graduations and I was alone there. I enjoy lonely graduations in the meantime, because I can do what I like and talk to whom I like.

      My family has not acknowledged that I have an academic degree in another language from their’s and that I did that all alone. They have no respect for me.
      I do not care anymore. I really do not. I study around now because I want to do another degree and graduate alone again.

      Be proud of yourself. Educating yourself is wonderful, it empowers you and shows you a world your family will never know. Ignore them.

    • #31740
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Hi Bubbles,

      Well done on your fantastic achievement! Your mother, your father and your sister’s behaviour is a reflection on them and consistent with their treatment of you in your childhood. In fact their treatment of you was horrific.

      What makes it confusing is probably sometimes they act nice towards you. But nasty/mice, nasty/nice is part of the abusive cycle.

      I don’t want you to feel bad but I’m sharing my experience with you to show how abusive their behaviour was on your special, important graduation day.

      My child graduated recently. I was working on the day and went to great lengths to reorganize my schedule so I could attend. I sent a supportive text the night before saying how proud I was. My child’s siblings attended after the ceremony and we gave a thoughtful gift and graduation card with nice sentiments. We celebrated with a meal together. Throughout the day and the meal my child who graduated was the centre of attention and we let them know how proud we were and what a fantastic achievement.

      Its good you posted for support and you need to get it out of your system, and its good you are not minimising their neglectful treatment of you.

      Their behaviour was very hurtful. You did not deserve that.

    • #31765
      bubbles
      Participant

      That’s horrible ayanna I would’ve taken the blazer off as soon as I got there and told him it was too warm. And well done in your achievements!

      LONC it’s nice to do that for your child when or if mine do it (my daughter seeing this wants it too and she stole my graduation cap all day and told me she was so proud of me) it will be a big thing and I’ll probably end up crying because like doing my degree alone I raised the kids alone. But it’s how graduations should be and congrats to yours too!

      Things got worse last night I got a call from my sister because my father is so proud of her he bought her a brand new car outright to say well done for just booking her driving test! so yeah she’s older than me has more money than me as she still lives with my parents and has no kids! To make it more of a slap they told me they were all gonna drive to mine to show me. I try keep my house to myself it’s a very nice house that I work hard to fill and keep with positive energy so I couldn’t have them coming to mine. Me and the kids were in our pjs so I said grab your coats let’s go for ice cream. We went for ice cream in our pjs lol but then to avoid the visit we stopped by theirs. When I was telling my kids to leave my mum said one day I’ll be able to give up work and you two can come live with me! And my daughter just looked at her and said no I’d never leave my mum my son then said no I don’t want to do that which wiped the smugness off them.

      This is what all the narc books say they are punishing me for achieving something so when her friends say well done her graduating she can talk about my sisters test and the fact she’s hacking my emails because she things I’m back with my ex see as the scape goat I cannot look like a good person!

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