Things feel overwhelming again.

[teabag]

I’m really struggling and continue to process all that’s happened.
I’m feeling really angry that my ex’s life has not been affected. He hasn’t suffered like I have.
Today I discover  (detail removed by moderator) my eyes popped out of my head. (Detail removed by moderator). But it’s put me in a spin now but the lies just turned my stomach. Reminded me of the fool I am.
I’m stuck I can’t seem to get away from his trauma.

[maddog]

Oh Teabag, your anger is normal. I was reminded by a counsellor that the anger, the sense of injustice, the overwhelming sense of unfairness, is all completely normal. I have been listening (can’t be bothered to watch a talking head) on youtube about abuse and recovery. Someone was saying that despite the hell we go through, a small light to hold in a very dark place is the opportunity to reach out, to feel these (however horrible) things, to find in ourselves a place of safety and to learn.

We can’t learn anything when we are terrified, when our adrenalin is coursing through our veins and our cortisol levels are through the roof.

You are certainly no fool and there are times when we all feel so desperately stuck stuck stuck.

Please keep reaching out and vent here as much as you like. If there is someone in real life who you can vent to, that is really good too. You are absolutely not alone. These abusers have a lifetime of lying. This is their life, not yours. They cause suffering. This is all they do.

It is trite to say that the feeling will pass. I really thought I was stuck forever. Baby steps. For now at least I feel ok. Weirdly ok since I’ve run out of anti depressants. I’m waiting for the crash.

[teabag]

Thanks Maddog
It feels like someone has their hand around my neck and squeezing it tight. I feel like I’m also in the pits of hell. (Detail removed by moderator). It’s all lies and I feel physically sick. Who is he grooming now.
(Detail removed by moderator)
It’s just brought his deluded behaviour to the forefront.

I just want to get to a place of feeling that grip in my neck to loosen and to feel like I’m recovering but the more conscious I’m becoming the more evil I’m seeing.

[diymum@1]

I feel like this too I know my ex has (detail removed by moderator). I cant do anything!! but it makes me feel very sick too that hes gotten away with so much bullying no one has stopped him. god help the people he ends up looking after xx luv diy mum

[Iwantmeback]

Hi teabag, just want to let you know that in the line of work he is pursuing, anyone taking him on, if they don’t check his credentials with the accredited body, more fool them. (Detail removed by moderator).
It’s the fact he’s blatantly lying and you see through him that is so frustrating and causing your anger. Have you filled out a disclosure form online(Clare’s Law) with your police body e.g. police Scotland, metropolitan police. This gives you information if he’s on the police radar and gives future women information to avoid him or if they do get involved, to do so at their peril.
Take care
IWMB 💕💕

[teabag]

IWMB
I’m assuming he’s under Claire’s law because of his criminal conviction of domestic abuse and caution for assaulting a minor.
Should I double check this?

Mixing with the wealthy to trap some poor mother.
Sigh.

[Iwantmeback]

You can fill a form in yourself re Clare’s Law, then if anyone else thinks ‘wait a minute’ about him the evidence is there. Someone before you may have done so too, the more of us who do fill in these forms,( when we pluck up the courage to do even that), the better💛 how are you feeling now, I hope you have a more peaceful evening💛💜
IWMB 💕💕

[teabag]

IWMB

I’m confused. I understood that if you have a conviction of DA, a current partner could contact the police and query any DA.

But from reading your post I’m understanding that one would have to make a disclosure (ie) his previous ex?

I don’t think I can make a disclosure without a conviction.

I’ll have to read up on it.

[KIP.]

Hi teabag, you can make a statement to the police about his abuse. Speak to a domestic abuse police officer. Your statement should be kept as corroboration for any other victims. There’s also a part of Claires Law where you can ask the police to speak to any new partner and inform her of his abusive past. At least this might give you some peace of mind that you’ve raised awareness of his abusive nature. Remember any contact, even on social media will trigger you. Try to avoid anything that may cross paths with his life x

[Author]

Posts