Things very bad today

[Rainbowcloud]

All day he has not spoke one word literally not once. I went shopping cleaned cooked he did nothing lien usual struggled with all the bags into house while he lay there then he went to take his kids back.
I text him whilst out I said what have I done cos all day he wouldn’t speak every time I spoke he turned his back to me and ignored me totally.
Then he replied and said it was a comment I made last night about his kids. All I said was it isn’t fair my son has to give his daughter his bed every time she comes every other week and it’s upsetting my son and can he get her a pull out bed. He said his kids need their own room I don’t have the space and have three children but my kids have to share a bed and change beds when they come so now my kids are getting at me about it and resenting the situation.
He was texting saying my kids come first so I’m moving out cos your spiteful and make my kids unwelcome such a lie I cook for them I do everything for all the kids while he sits on his bum 24.7 I actually am the one taking care of his kids anyway.
He was like ur a nasty person and so and so said it so that’s what u are and I’m moving out tomorrow my friend has a house for rent. I said well that’s fine if you want to do that it’s up to you.
The best of it is he thinks I’m not on contraception so actually thinks we’re trying for a baby right now then says he’s leaving after pressuring the he’ll out of me to have a child . I feel all it is is to get his way his kids always come before my kids and it’s always been this way and this is the only time I’ve stood up to it after all these years. My kids also notice this happening too.
So now he’s downstairs in my house and I’m scared to go down cos I can tell in his eyes he wants to start badly so staying out the way now.
I hope he does go tomorrow like he said he will it will be weird at first and I will probably be upset but it would help me get my life back if he goes.
He said I upset his kids he don’t care when he’s upsetting my kids at all only his and they are only here two weekends a month. Life is so rubbish with this mental abuse all the time I wish I left years ago and come to my senses then.

[Hetty]

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a c**p day. It doesn’t matter what you do, how adapted you and your kids are, it will never be enough. It’s pointless trying to share your views and feelings. These men genuinely couldn’t give a c**p. Save your energy. He’ll use your words, turn them round and try to make you feel like c**p.
I know you’re scared. Try to appease him and hopefully he’ll be gone tomorrow. Call the police if you need to.
Often these men say they’re leaving when they don’t mean it. They want us to beg and when we jump at their proposal they get mad. My husband threatens he’ll leave and I get so excited. But he doesn’t mean a word of it. He’s just gauging where I’m at.
Stay safe x

[Rainbowcloud]

Yes he has done this too sometimes he has left but only for a day or two never very long and not for ages well over a year since he actually left. He’s made me feel like a terrible person to his kids but it’s him he’s the issue and I think they are funny with me because of how he treats me they have no respect for me either and he’s youngest is spiteful to my kids too she reminds me of him so much. It’s such a stressful hard situation I don’t know why he doesn’t take them to his moms or dads and I would have a lovely wkend with my kids with no arguments.
Be nice if he does go this time then I can sit in my own living room and not upstairs all night 🙁

[Iwantmeback]

Hi there, I’m so sorry you’ve had such rotten time. When it finally Dawn’s on us that they are acting like a spoilt child it makes things a little bit easier. Use the time he doesn’t speak to you fir yourself. Don’t give him a second thought, don’t text asking what you’ve done. You’ve not done anything, he’s just looking fir any reason to have a go. So he’s saying so and so says you’re a nasty person, really. That whole paragraph is to me his confession to you as to who he is. You know you and your children can’t keep living like this, show them what a strong woman is really like, stand up to him, find your inner warrior princess. Falling out of love, no longer wanting to be with someone is reason enough to end a relationship. What he is doing and saying is downright abusive, he is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to yourself and your own children that’s all. He’s a grown man, he has to learn that if you behave badly there’s consequences for his actions. We are so much stronger than we realise. Are you scared of him, can you imagine a life without him in it? You’ll know when the time comes that you’re truly over. I never thought I’d leave my oh. Ive been with him fir over 2 decades nearer 3. I’m the most laid back,anything for a quiet life people pleasing person in the world. But there does come a point when enough is enough. I hope you come to yours soon. This isn’t an easy road to travel, but the benefits will be your reward. Journal his behaviour, date and times, if anyone was present.write how it makes you feel. Read as much as you can, why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft is over if the best insightful books I’ve read. Living with the dominator is another one we recommended to each other.
Stay strong sweetheart, you can do this.
IWMB 💞💞

[Hetty]

Can you try and say to him you need a little break, suggest he stays with a friend for a few days. Say anything you have to to get him out. Even if you have to lie. You love him so much but you just think it would be so good for you both if he stays with his friend so he can have a break. Say whatever it takes. Get him out and change the locks etc. Don’t feel bad. This man is treating you terribly. It’s your home.
Can you speak to women’s aid today?
He doesn’t take his kids elsewhere because that would mean you and your kids would have a nice time and he can’t be having that. He wants you around at all time’s so he can project his c**p onto you. He won’t want you to have any sort of nice relationship with his kids because he has to be the centre of attention at all times. He needs you to be the problem, keep you distant. That way he can keep his fragile sense of self in tact.
X*x

[Author]

Posts