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Finally cracked during another blamey phone call and I said we should separate. Four days ago. He agreed at first and we both said how we have different lives etc, I was trying to keep it all nice but it’s actually because any time he’s here it’s continual drama and blaming me and criticising, shouting. He just sent me long texts admitting he’s made mistakes but saying how is me doing this in a lockdown when he is alone there any different to his shouting. He says he can’t sleep or eat and wants to talk about it. He says he has made mistakes and now no-one needs him. He feels like I was waiting to buy the house so I could get him out. I’m finding it so painful that I’m frozen and can’t phone cos the kids are here and I’ll cry and the kids will get worried, hard enough for them in this weird situation we’re all in. He admits he can’t live all the time here. Perhaps I should row it back and say ok let’s talk about it then try and keep it on ice till the coronavirus and the lockdown is over? I’m totally financially dependant on him. He wants to come here and talk about it.
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This is the most dangerous time for you. Do not allow him anywhere near you. The very last place you need to be in AandE. He will say whatever he thinks you want to hear to get the control back. He is not your responsibility and he will lie and talk delusional nonsense so he can abuse you again. This is predictable behaviour and you need to keep your kids safe just now too. Financial abuse is a crime too. Ring the national domestic abuse helpline for a chat and see what other options are out there.
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Hi there Pebble1, I don’t want to frighten you, but KIP is absolutely right. Separation can be a very dangerous time and it is really important that you keep yourself as safe as possible.
You could also access some support from Women’s Aid through the Live Chat. I can see that you are also concerned about your financial situation. Turn2us would be able to offer some guidance.
Best wishes
Lisa
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