This feels threatening

[thelightinme]

Hi all. My husband has now switched from ‘being’ apparently charming to becoming angry about my decision to divorce being firm. Today he actually said that if I do this he’ll never forgive me, amongst other threatening things. But one sentence in particular made me feel scared: (Detail removed by Moderator)
This I guess was a desperate attempt to make me feel guilty, but it sounded so horrible, and the glare he gave me…just so threatening.

[Tiffany]

I would report that to the police. It is threatening and you are right to be worried. I am not sure what your situation is, but I hope you and your children are safely away from this man.

[lover of no contact]

Yes he is switching tactics from nice to nasty to get you to back down and not divorce him. He’s hoping by scaring you and threatening you that fear will stop you ending the abusive cycle with him. That was a really horrible thing to say to you and the intent is to induce fear in you and make you very afraid. Its so good you actually posted about the threat on here, you’re not carrying it on your own. Please keep posting on here and ring Women’s Aid as well and tell them what he said. You’ll need a lot of support to deal with him and his threatening behaviour.

[Flowerchild]

This is a really serious one, darling. He is threatening the children in a particularly nasty and violent way and implying it will be your fault for divorcing him if he does this.

You need to take this seriously and report it, I think. Better safe than sorry. These things are rare but they do happen: it must not happen to your children, darling!

Flower x

[KIP.]

This is the most dangerous time for Women when they try to end the relationship. He will try everything to gain control back from you. From begging, pleading, bribing, guilt tripping, blaming, crying, and if none of them work then violence will follow. I saw a documentary about abusers and it said to take their threats very seriously. I can assure you my ex made threats that he had every intention of carrying through. Please ring 101 and speak to the domestic abuse police for advice. Things are escalating. This is serious. Never underestimate these abusers. There is a red mist that comes over them and nothing stops them. Ring the helpline number on here too for good advice x

[Lisa]

Hi thelightinme,

Thank you for posting. The comments from your husband are very concerning. As others have suggested please do contact the police and speak to your support worker as soon as possible. The 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline is also available on 0808 2000 247.

Please keep reaching out for support and let us know how you are when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[thelightinme]

Thank you all for your good advise. I’m literally hours away from moving out. I called police to report and update them about everything and I’ve arranged a time and day for police office to come round to see me. Last night I was awake for hours, I couldn’t get his words out of my head. My mum has already arrived, no one knows,she’s at rented house but she’s not going out to avoid someone recognising her. It was so lovely to see her briefly today. My biggest concern is contact with the children. My solicitor and I are prepared to escalate to prohibited steps order. She actually doesn’t know about this last threatening incident. Maybe I should let her know via e mail now and that may give us grounds for prohibited steps order?
I’m so scared about his reaction after I leave.
Xxxxxxxx

[KIP.]

Keep your solicitor updated and keep all evidence. Once you leave you can put more measures in place to ensure your safety. You’re doing everything you can. For what it’s worth my paranoia went off the scale when my ex was arrested and I got an occupation order etc but turns out when he realised it wasn’t just me he was bullying, his true cowardly side shone through. Playing the innocent injured party. Pathetic individual. I’m so glad your mum is there to support you. Let the school know too. Hang in there. It’s tough in the early days but it is so worth in for the freedom and the abuse free life for you and your kids. Just feeling safe in your own home. Chilling out watching what you want to on the tv. No more walking on eggshells waiting for the next episode. You will look back as the best thing you ever did. It’s not just you now. Take all the help offered. You can do this 👍

[thelightinme]

I appreciate all these comments. Thank you so much ❤️

[thelightinme]

He’s told me today he’ll love me till death.
I feel such an urge to get out now.
Just a couple of hours now.

[Tiffany]

I hope you get away safely. Take care.

[thelightinme]

Thank you Tiffany xx

[Iwantmeback]

Knowing what we do of abusers and how insiddious they can be, what he said about loving you to death sounds very creepy indeed. Please be very wary.
IWMB 💕💕

[lover of no contact]

Praying for you tonight that you will be kept safe while leaving. Keep posting if you can. The fear they engender is awful isn’t it? But our fear is our red flag that we’re not meant to be in a relationship with them.

This too will pass.

[she-ra]

Really praying for you today. Here’s to the start of your new chapter. Good luck and be safe x*x

[freedomtochoose]

Also praying for you. And the LIGHTINYOU.
As I remember when I left my adrenaline levels were very high. It kind of got me through…
all best
ftc
x

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