This is big!

[iwillbeok]

I did it! I did it!

I have been avoiding laying in any way across my bed on my stomach (his favourite position when he was sexually assaulting me) as my heart would start to pound and I’d feel like I was going to throw up!!

Just now I lay across to reach some bits and pieces that my daughter had left on the floor on other side of the bed. And… nothing. I was just laying there picking up stuff. I lay there a bit longer and still nothing!!

Next test is to try in dim light as this was the time of day he assaulted me.

I feel like a weight has been lifted! I’m free and this is *my* home. I think it helps that I’ve been cleaning all day – something I never seemed to have the time or headspace for.

I can’t wait for the divorce to get over and done with so I can buy a house of my own!!

[Serenity]

That’s great, I Will Be Ok.

I’m so glad that you are feeling safer in your environment and more relaxed. You’re gaining ownership of yourself again- that’s great.

I am still sleeping in the marital bed. At first, I couldn’t bear to go anywhere near his ‘side’ of the bed. Now I stretch across it, like a starfish. I don’t give a toss. He is not looming large in my life anymore. He’s nothing.

[endoftherainbow]

Today I went out without making the bed, I left dishes in the sink, and I haven’t dusted for about a week!……..nothing happened, no shouting, no slap, going to do it again tomorrow, love being free x*x

[Author]

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