This is so unfair

[sweet4]

.
My daughter comes over with my Grandson and i have to live my bedroom.
I have to listed to my Grandson, chatting and laughing, although i did take him for a walk today, but when i come back i have to retire to my bedroom.
Obviously i cant be in the room with both of the abusers.Its just not right, i lose out every time.

[KIP.]

Cant you invite them up to your bedroom? You’re being intimidated. Another good reason to get out of that situation as soon as possible x

[sweet4]

hi Kip
Yes he was in my bedroom, when they arrived, all his toys are in the sitting room, hes walking now, so he wont sit for long.
Im a prisoner in my own home.

[ISOPeace]

Sweet4 it really is unfair and must feel awful. While you’re living there you will be a prisoner whether you’re in your room or not. The whole abuse situation is so unfair. You deserve any of it. Unfortunately you can’t make an abuser change so leaving is the only way to be free. In the meantime you are protecting yourself from the abuse as best you can.

I’m glad you got to enjoy some time with your grandson even though it must really hurt to hear him laughing while you’re stuck in your room.

However much it feels like your abuser is winning, it is impossible to really be happy while you’re abusing someone. Abuse is both a sign of unhappiness/emotional issues and a cause (all to do with the abuser’s issues, nothing is caused by the victim). Your abuser is trapped by his unwillingness to accept that the abuse is about him. He likes the feeling of control the abuse brings but it’s like a drug. It doesn’t actually make him happy but he’s blind to the reality so can’t see what’s really happening. You have your eyes open to the abuse so you’re on your way to freedom. Stay strong. Sending love xxxx

[sweet4]

Thank you ISOPeace such kind words.
Its not only him its the daughter as well.I posted on another thread, what has been happening to me.
NCDV are brilliant, they are helping me get a Non Molestation order, doesnt mean to say the judge will allow it, then if he does, then i will be getting one for the daughter.

[KIP.]

It will go in your favour that your husband has somewhere to go. Judges do t like to make people homeless so emphasise this and make sure he doesn’t lie about that. If the person he could go to is willing to submit a statement then that would be good and then the daughter might not be so bold.

[sweet4]

hi Kip
Sorry I dont understand, the daughter might not be so bold?

NCDV said the same as you Kip, that it should be in my favor, but he will lie, when i asked him to get the hell out and move in with his mummy, his words where.
I cant because of Covid. (detail removed by Moderator)

[KIP.]

He can get a covid test before he moves if he’s so concerned. Try to get something in writing from him. A text or email or an email from his mum saying it’s okay if he stays there. Because we know they are liars. I mean when you daughter doesn’t have her dad backing her up and enabling her behaviour she might not be so bold as to abuse you on her own. Because you can have her removed for abuse too. She’s a bully and bullies are cowards.

[sweet4]

Well said Kip, and thank you.

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