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    • #20294
      Peaceful Pig

      After following links from Healthy Archive I started to read the theories of M.Scott Peck on evil, as he terms it. These excerpts are from ‘The people of the lie’s. It gives some interesting descriptions which I think fit our abusers (certainly mine) to a tee so I thought I’d share them:
      “While they seem to lack any motivation to BE good, they intensely desire to appear good. Their ‘goodness’ is all on the level of pretense. It is, in effect, a lie.”
      “The lie is designed not so much to deceive others as to deceive themselves. They cannot or will not tolerate the pain of self-reproach.”
      “Evil is defined as the use of power to destroy the spiritual growth of others for the purpose of defending and preserving the integrity of their own sick selves.”
      “The exercise of political power – that is the imposition of one’s own will upon others by overt or covert coercion.”

    • #20296

      Dear Peaceful, thanks so much for sharing that. I get so much guidance and inspiration from such quotations, i have only recently discovered M.Scott Peck, Hermann Hessee is nother of my faviourites. This is a great link to have a look at:

      One of my favourite verses is entitled Love Your Suffering………..This is good to use when your out of the relationship & experiencing the debilitating grief of trauma bonding, the emotional pain that makes you feel that you want to die, i like to read this verse then as it seems to help during those painfully emotional times.

      ‘Suffering only hurts because you fear it, Suffering only hurts because you complain about it, it pursues you only because you flee from it, you must not flee, you must not complain, you must not fear, you must love. Because you know quite well that deep within you there is a single magic, a single power, a single salvation and a single happiness and that is called loving. Well then, love your suffering, do not resist it, do not flee from it. Taste how sweet it is in its essence, give yourself to it, do not meet it with aversion. It is only aversion that hurts, nothing else’. By Hermann Hesse

    • #20297

      You’ve touched on a big paradox which really has confused me: why they want to be seen as good, without doing good.

      I was thinking that they think everyone else is stupid, and is taken in by their false mask, that they don’t actually have to go as far as to do good things to be believed to be good- their will can coerce people to believe it. Because actually being good would involve sacrifice and giving their power away- and they don’t want to do that. Pretence is less painful.

    • #20298

      Because I dont think they know how to do good. My ex tried, but i think he found it so unnatural and difficult to keep up, he stopped. Being good and doing good things involve a conscience & good moral standing. Some people have neither. They like to be seen as good as it would be devastating for them if people could see the real them. It must be hard to swallow to actually be a naturally nasty and evil person by nature.

    • #20299

      It was a huge ego with my ex. The n**********c side that wanted people to tell him how great he was. So,he would go above and beyond to try to get praise from customers or friends but woe betide if they didn’t show him enough hero worship. He would tear them apart. My husband is pure evil. From running over a cat with me in the car just to wipe the smile off my face, to smirking after reducing me to a mental wreck. To take pleasure from others suffering. Pure evil. To use our child to hurt me. Absolutely no empathy or boundary. Sick human beings.

    • #20300

      Yes they ARE sick. As I have known all along & never doubted we will triumph in the whole scheme of things. …get the nasty experience of abuse out of the way we will come out on top, it is inevitable 💪💪💪💪💪💪we are strong & powerful women who have made a mistake in our choice of partner ,that is all.

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