Tired

[Confusedaboutit]

I’m unsure if my partner is emotional abusive. He’s very manipulative and somehow has control over my moods. I’m away with a friend and he’s being very blunt with me over messages, giving me silent treatment /generally not talking. He does this every time I go away and I can never enjoy it because I’m always upset/worrying that he’s in a mood with me and I’m not around him to ask why/sort things out. I don’t know, it’s just this happens every time and it gives me anxiety and I just end up miserable on my trips away and just waiting for hometime.

[KIP.]

What he is trying to do is prevent you from going away again. He thinks if he treats you badly, makes you anxious then you won’t leave again. My ex did the same. They often give us a hard time when we return too. It’s incredibly confusing but they are so very insecure themselves that they cannot stand us having a life away from them. I didn’t recognise it at the time but gradually I has less and less of a life away from him. I stopped going out with friends and stopped going away with friends and family. It was just too much emotional manipulation and I had no idea about abuse. It a positive healthy relationship your partner would want you to enjoy yourself. To grow through experiences and encourage you to do things that make you happy. Abusers cannot stand us being happy. Looking back, lots of the arguments came at times when I was enjoying myself. Have you read Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven? My life got smaller and smaller. Eventually I was too ill to work and he had me where he wanted me. At home. Always looking after his needs.

[Confusedaboutit]

Thanks KIP, it’s good to know I’m not going insane. I’m just at a loss. This has been going on for about a year now on and off and I just feel trapped. He often gives me silent treatment out of the blue and I make myself ill with worry. I hate the person i am now – sad and constantly treading on egg shells. I can go out the house without him for more than a few hours because I worry he’ll be in a mood with me when I get home.

[Author]

Posts