Told my boss about ?abuse

[Freedomfighter]

Hi,
Had to tell my boss about what’s going on at home (made mistakes and had to explain myself). Feeling vulnerable and exhausted. Pretty sure it won’t go further, but still feeling vulnerable because someone knows

[KIP.]

Hey, it takes courage to speak up. Sometimes someone who has known you for five minutes can have better intentions than someone who has known you for decades. Well done. Abusers thrive on our silence x it’s bound to cause anxiety because we have been programmed by our abuser to feel guilt and shame. The shame is all his x

[Freedomfighter]

Thanks Kip,
Been in this relationship very long time. Knew it wasn’t good, but a shock to realise it was abuse. Having trouble taking it in let alone dealing with it.

[Dragonfly]

Hey

I had to tell my manager too, then I told the whole team. It’s actually worked out to be the best thing at work. People are very kind, not patronising, I think sometimes if people have a reason or explanation for our behaviour not being what it used to be then it might make them look at the bigger picture. For me, telling them has been part of my recovery x

[Freedomfighter]

Only worked there couple of years. Mostly work alone. When I have worked in a pair I only jokingly have a moan. Never told anyone about the bad stuff. I buried most of it. He used to get me really drunk first then tell me it didn’t happen. You must have had a nightmare. There’s still a part of my brain that wonders if it did. I know that’s just him making me doubt. Still in shock I think

[Anabela]

I told my senior too after less than half a year working there. And it was a breaking point in my relationship as it was the first time I spoke to the outsider about it. And she was very supportive. I felt scared and said that if I told I will have to leave the job. But she made me feel normal.
It might be a good thing that you told. I understand that telling these things might make you feel vulnerable, but that’s how you start breaking this cycle.

[Freedomfighter]

Hope so. It’s been going on so long I can’t keep burying my head in the sand. My son is grown up now but suffers with his health mentally and physically. I have arthritis as well as mental health issues. We both only work part time. I have always kept them out of what’s going on, but we’ve been talking about it lately. He’s coming with me. Will make it easier for both, but harder financially for two bedroom place. Struggling to save, live at home, and coming to terms with not just bad marriage but abuse

[Freedomfighter]

Been reading through everyone’s replies again. Thanks for your support. I know I need to do this. I know I can deep down especially if my son’s with me. I’ve always found the strength to do what ever I needed to for them including standing up to my husband. I’m just afraid that if I try to get a quick divorce the police will get involved and I couldn’t do that he’d crucify me. But 5 years seems so long. I need to get advice from lawyers but I’m afraid of what they will say. Afraid I’ll lose my nerve. I’ve never been this close before, never got this far, I can’t back out now. We have to leave, my son has asked for more hours, so have I. We’re getting there slowly. Just having wobble cos of the A word. Stupid, makes no difference. I know what he’s done, what you call it doesn’t change that. I’ve just got to get my head around it

[Author]

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