Too old to fight the discriminations

[dreamshaker]

Am quite old, and spent decades in a quiet, rural village, where everybody knows business.

I suffered abuse now for a very long time I have never had choices, money, friends or do what I want, However a marriage was to obey, and I tried, but after the gang attack and physical beating, I really don’t want to hurt anyone.

But our neighbourhood is close, he’s very well respected, and his job meant he has power.
I have kept silent for decades, taking the sexual and physical assaults, and now I’m so afraid of what other people will say / do, as I doubt they’ll believe he’s capable of my scars.

I will be left homeless and penniless, and shame brought on me,
I am old, and have experienced this pain for so long, I just wonder if it’s worth the guilt and shame to leave, plus I wouldn’t know how to do anything now, as the world has changed, but I don’t know anything.

[Ayanna]

Oh hun, you are never too old to start a better life.

I am old too. I was abused by the services because of my age.

I was refused a place in a refuge because of my ethnicity and my age. There is a lot of discrimination of older women who try to get out of abuse.
Lots of professionals are discriminative towards old women, they see us as unworthy and close to the grave, so refuse to help.

But let me tell you this: Whatever anybody thinks about you, do not care. You are a very precious and worthy person!!!
You have the same right as anybody else to live a life free from abuse.

Once you reach a certain age you become eligible for certain benefits just because of your age.
You reach more priority for housing too.

After a long marriage the abuser must pay you maintenance for the rest of your life. You say he is respected, so I assume he earns well. That is good. You can rip him off, darling!

Please inquire which options you have. You can get out. Contact Women’s Aid and speak to them. Call Rights of Women, speak to Rape Crisis.
You will get support, trust me. Do you work? If not, that is even better in your current situation for support, legal aid, ….

Think of going into a refuge. WA and Rape Crisis can help you to go into a refuge. You can choose to go far away where he can never find you and then you can start legal procedures to divorce him and make him pay. After this you can even work, because the good thing about this country is that you can work in any age and look after yourself. You can do this. You can find happiness and freedom.
This is a new world for you and scary. Do not fear! Things are better out there than within!
Keep posting! You are not alone! x*x

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

Sending u massive hug, u need support hun, i would highly recommend u call the help line , no one deserved to be abused, people think we have taken for so long it becomes normal or we should be able to handle but thats not the case its the opposite it gets harder to take. I remember i left my partner at age of (detail removed by moderator)and as sadly i felt same its too late for me ,, i cant leave , but my support worker told me a story of a 65 year old lady who left and she said if she can do it u can too, so please dont think of age as a barrier, also i totally understand when your partner has respect and authority in the town, my ex family was like that and u think no one will beleive u, i thought the same, in the end i said i dont care who beleives me its the truth and i know that it is the truth thats what mattered

[Author]

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