I feel sad and confused.I learnt about codependency and that I allow the people to come in my life and don’t put boundaries in and looking back I can see that. But in the same time I feel like I’m overwhelmed by learnt helplessness and I just don’t have the penergy or strength to leave and stay away. I’m so confused. I don’t know if the relationship is abusive but I feel like it’s not healthy. I just want him to be the one to leave me or at least agree its a mutual decision. I’m scared it will turn abusive but I’m just scared of people generally. I just feel so alone.
What you describe is the result of abuse. Can you ring your local women’s aid. You recognise you’re frozen so let others remove him for you. The police. The courts. Friends and family. Women’s aid can help you with options x
You are not alone. We are all here for you. Whatever is going on in your relationship you are confused, scared and blaming yourself, feeling trapped. These are certainly signs of being in an abusive relationship but abusive or not you are clearly miserable. That’s reason enough for the relationship to end. You deserve to feel safe, to be happy. You dont need his permission to end it but if it feels dangerous and you’re scared you’re probably right to be. Trust your gut. Leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time.
Would you consider reaching out to womens aid to talk through how things are in your relationship? Or posting some of your experiences here perhaps? It is vital to get an outsiders perspective when you’re feeling confused and it definitely sounds like you need support to leave.
You deserve support and help. How he treats you is not your fault.xxxx