This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  fizzylem 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #111492
     Lostforever 
    Participant

    My ex is an alcoholic. He was convicted of assaulting me, after several years of verbal and physical abuse.

    We both had pets when we met and I still have his now elderly dog.

    The restraining order that was in place ran out and as he never breached it, Rights for Women advised me I had no grounds to apply for a non molestation order.

    For a while, I allowed him to visit his dog to walk her, but it just ended up in him getting controlling again and one day, he came into the house and refused to leave, so i had to get the police to remove him.

    His behaviour has led me to the decision to go back to no contact, but I’m certain he will turn up here again to try to see his dog if I don’t let him see her. I’m so b****y tired of dancing to his tune. I don’t want him here.

    He is living in a shelter where he cannot keep his dog and his family won’t take her in. In any event, I love her and don’t want her to have to live in his violent, unstable world even if she could.

  • #111549
     Lostforever 
    Participant

    He’s threatening to turn up here tomorrow 🙁

    I’ve blocked him on my phone, but he can still leave voicemails. Does anyone know how to stop that too?

    I’ll never be free.

  • #111566
     Camel 
    Participant

    Hi Lostforever

    I would have thought he had no claims on the dog whatsoever. So don’t allow him to use this excuse any long. Don’t respond to his messages. Stay secure in your home. Call the police in the morning, whether he turns up or not. Report it as harassment. Then apply to the courts for a restraining order.

  • #111567
     Camel 
    Participant

    Then ask yourself the big question. Why it is that you’re putting the welfare of an adopted animal above your own.

  • #111574
     Lostforever 
    Participant

    Because I love her and refuse to throw her under the bus by handing her over to a violent alcoholic with no means of providing for her?

  • #111588
     HunkyDory 
    Participant

    I was surprised too that a blocked number could leave voicemails- took me totally by surprise and I just changed my number. Seems like that’s the only way x

  • #111589
     Lostforever 
    Participant

    HunkyDory, I’m beginning to think it’s the only way. Seems crazy to me.

  • #111681
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    Let him leave the voice mails, then give these to the police for your harrassment complaint. I think given you have taken care of her for so long she is now your dog, like you say, even if he did want her he can’t make this commitment. I would not answer and call the police straight away if he turns up, I would ask them to ask him not to come to the house again. Let the police deal with him for you from here on in x

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