Trauma later on

[Pineapplesurprise]

I have been out of my relationship and remarried for a while now. My issues are now with smaller things like anxiety. I don’t leave the house unless I know it’s a place I would never see my ex. I function on a daily basis but it’s almost hiding still. I’m constantly worried he will find where we live and embark on harassment. Due to this we don’t tell people where we live but I have only realised this recently, I thought I was okay. Then I have two teens who have presented in different ways. One is self harming and low self esteem whp struggles to maintain friendships. She is going to counselling and had victims support after everything her father did. My other child has intense anger towards his father and has (detail removed by moderator) I am at a loss at what to do? My new husband has been amazing and neither kids feel like they are missing out but I’m worried if staying in the area isn’t helping? A few years ago my ex agreed to let my husband adopt my son but just at we got to the final stages he refused. (detail removed by moderator) He hasn’t had anything to do with them for (detail removed by moderator) but I still feel trapped!!!

[Lisa]

Hi,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you are in a constant state of anxiety and you are holding your breath. you should feel free to live free from abuse and its frustrating that your ex partner has still tried to exert some form of control.

You do have a right to move if you wanted to but its important you do have ongoing support for yourself with how you are feeling. Your children have a lot of good support around them and you deserve that too.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Pineapplesurprise]

Thank you for your response
It does feel like we are in a state of anxiety. Wondering if moving abroad is better?
Unsure if I could without his permission?

[Lisa]

Hi,

You may want to seek legal advice around your options- moving abroad you may need his permission but if you don’t feel safe where you currently are- you should be able to move within the UK but you may want to get this confirmed legally before you make any plans- its important that you are safe.

The Coram Children’s Legal Centre provide free legal resources with advice and information on all aspects of family, child and education law, including relationship breakdown; parental disputes, duties of children’s services; child protection. They can be contacted on 0300 330 5480 (10am-4pm, Mon-Fri) and through their webchat service (8:30am-5:30pm Mon-Fri).

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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