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    • #99637
      Newbeginnings1234
      Participant

      I feel like over the last few days my life has become very similar to how it was before I left my Husband and I’m finding it really hard to be at home. Thankfully I’m a key worker so I’m still able to go to work, but I’ve been working overtime a lot as I dread going home every day. It was the same when I was with my Husband, I would spend as much time as I could at uni and I would go in on my days off to avoid being at home. Being told that I can’t go out anywhere other than work and the supermarket feels the same way it used to feel when my Husband would lock me in the house for days, or sometimes weeks, without letting me go out anywhere except the supermarket (and even that was after hours of begging him to take me). At times when he would refuse to take me to the supermarket I would be have to eat whatever was left in the cupboard and I would try to make things last as I didn’t know how long it would be until I could buy more food, which is how I feel at the moment with everyone panic buying. The weird thing is, for months now I’ve barely left the house except to go to work or the supermarket and I would happily spend my days off sitting inside on my own with no desire to go out, I also hated working overtime. But now I’ve been told that I can’t go out, I suddenly hate being at home. When I’m at work, I’ve been getting the same feeling of dread that I used to feel about going home, but until now I used to look forward to going home. I want to work as much as possible, but I’m worried that doing that will increase the risk to my health and make it more likely that I will have to self isolate for a week, and I don’t know how I would cope with that. It feels like I’ll be worse off either way.

    • #99639
      fizzylem
      Participant

      It’s one thing choosing to stay home and another being told to isn’t it – my mum never goes anywhere, chooses to self isolate pretty much all the time anyway, but now she says she’s struggling with it, now she knows she can’t go where she likes.

      Isolation compounds our feelings doesn’t it; it’s good you are ‘noticing’ that some of how you feel is your past emotions alive in the present, that they don’t really belong here anymore – the more you notice this the less power they hold, until eventually they disappear.

      Can you start to prep for self isolation? So it helps you to mentally prepare for it? Get into a better frame of mind for it should you need to? So, anything you’d like to watch on the tele? Any books you’ve been meaning to read? Anthing else you think you might need? Any jobs or hobbies you’ve been meaning to do? Get it all ready so that if the time comes you’ll know what to do, may even look forward to parts of it. I can recommend watching 24 if you’ve never seen it – or Lost – either of these would keep you entertained for days! If you like good American trashy TV series that is. Mad idea, but have you got a cat?! Could help you to look forward to getting home and they don’t need you to be home all the time – can fend for themselves when you’re at work. May be a silly suggestion but thought I’d say just in case.

      I’ve started reaching out to more people in general, especially those living alone and elderly, writing emails and phoning folk – I’m finding it actually fills a fair bit of time – anyone you can do this with? x

      • #99662
        Newbeginnings1234
        Participant

        Thank you, that’s a good idea to try to plan things to do if I have to self isolate. I would love to get a pet but unfortunately my landlord wouldn’t let me and I wouldn’t have anyone to look after it if I travelled anywhere. I’ll definitely look into it if I eventually move somewhere else though. I’ll try to reach out to family more and I’ve considered asking my neighbours whether they need anything as they’re elderly and I’ll still be going out every day anyway x

    • #99644
      HunkyDory
      Participant

      Yes exactly as Fizzy says. I’ve worked at home for months and enjoyed it but it’s totally different having to stay home. I struggled to process what is happening and felt pretty down last week but now making the most of it.

      I’m digging out films series and documentaries on Netflix, spring cleaning etc. It’s a great idea about a cat! Not sure if rescues are still allowing adoptions or fostering but my cat has been great for me. A little soul waiting for me at home and she’s a great listener!

      Reach out here it to friends and family by FaceTime. My work colleagues set up a WhatsApp group to keep us connected and laughing.

      Be kind to yourself and take care and thank you for being a key worker xx

      • #99663
        Newbeginnings1234
        Participant

        Thank you, I’ll try to find some new films on Netflix and reach out to family a bit more x

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