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    • #111668
      123cali
      Participant

      I have tried to leave my abuser and one day when he was shouting at me i called him abusive and said i want a restraining order. I also reached out to a friend to say what has happened because I needed advice and I was so confused and he is saying I’m slandering him. He has now started saying I called him (detail removed by moderator)(which I havent). He said he will contact social services and make stuff up about me. Am I in the wrong for any of this? What would the courts say? Was I within my rights to let him know I think he was being abusive and to speak to a friend? I left to protect my daughter and now now he is threatening to have her taken away from me. He is also accusing me of being on dating sites and taking my daughter to (detail removed by moderator) for one nights stand (again not true) I am suffering with PTSD from this relatio ship and never want to go near a man again. Is there any way he can say this without evidence? I dont understand how someone can just make things up

    • #111696
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      My ex did this. He made some terrible allegations against me to the police. It worried me sick, but there was absolutely no evidence to substantiate it.

      It’s just what they do and the authorities are pretty wise to it.

    • #111697
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi 123cali,

      I just wanted to offer some support this morning.

      You have not done anything wrong. We know that when abusers begin to feel as if they are loosing control (their tactics being recognised and called out etc.), that the abuse often escalates.

      It is so common, unfortunately, for abusers to threaten to make false allegations to professional services, and threaten to have children removed. It’s important to know that social services removing children is ultimately a last resort and they would not do this without serious concerns for the children’s well-being, as well as solid evidence of these concerns.

      You removing them from an abusive situation is protecting them, putting them first and safeguarding them, and this is an incredibly brave and strong thing to do.

      Do you have a support worker at all? You could contact your local domestic abuse service for support around this. You can find them here.

      If you need legal advice, you may also wish to contact the Rights of Women who offer free family law advice over the phone. Their website is: https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/

      Take care and keep posting.

      Lisa

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