Unsettled at home

[Sunshine01]

I left my abusive ex a few years ago now and have had ongoing issues with threats and emotional abuse. We have a child together which makes it more difficult to move on. I still live in the house where he destroyed me and i feel like it makes my mental health worse, I panic if I’m alone, I never feel safe and despite decorating the whole house, I look in rooms and picture me being harmed, I feel so uncomfortable living here and feel like it’s holding me back. Has anyone else suffered similar?

[Scottish Thistle]

Mine still has a hold of me regarding our marital home. Although he is no longer there I feel I’m in a rental place and I can’t do anything to it as it’s not ‘mine’. The only changes I’ve made is take down is pictures of us, I want to decorate but can’t as he is in the back of my head going nuts – stupid I know.

I hate someone coming to my door if I’m not expecting anyone (get heart palpitations) it’s not nice and I get mad at myself for feeling that way.

I can relate to the holding back. – are you in a position to sell up and move elsewhere? If so that may help.

[driedflowers]

I’m thinking about moving right now for the same reason. My ex knows where I live and if my PTSD flares up then I don’t feel safe in the house. I moved a (detail removed by moderator) roommate in to feel safer and to try and (detail removed by moderator) again, but it backfired because (detail removed by moderator); I then wake up in a panic and can’t go back to sleep for a long time. I don’t know if it would be the same if I moved or not – I’m not sure whether PTSD is attached to the place or whether it will attach itself to something else.

I wonder whether you have done any work for PTSD? If not, then that might help with the flashbacks. Maybe you could see how you feel in other spaces, too, and that would help you figure out whether or not to move.

[Author]

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