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    • #145334
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Ok so here goes

      I met this guy, got on straight away,chats were really long, we spoke all day every day, finally met got on great and started dating. He would bring me little gifts at first, very affectionate, lockdown fell back in at one point but he would talk about things we would do, places to go etc that he would remember i liked doing that etc etc (will add straight off we never done any of it) he would compliment, talk about looking after me, ask me if i needed anything & all that..

      He talked well of his family and seemed to have a close knit bunch of friends, they’ve traveled together, seemed to have been friends for a long time – spoke well of them (at first)

      We also seemed to have a lot in common and he told me he was an open book (absolutely untrue) ..

      So time passes after going well and i feel he is starting to withdraw, he starts showing up later, sometimes not at all (detail removed by Moderator). I eventually ask him if he is loosing interest he says no, why would i think that? i tell him the arriving later and it seemed to be me always asking he said no he is interested am i not as well?, he likes talking to me and he can see where i am coming from, says remember i wasnt well, remember my friend etc and other excuses that make not much sense, i let off on this occassion

      However this seems to continue so i ask again i say i know its hard to say but if you arent interested let me know i understand – he said it it me who isnt because ive brought it up now and am i saying i want to end it? – I say no i was asking him because that’s the impression i was getting from his behavior – he told me to ‘not think silly thoughts – things like that will keep me awake at night’

      Things start to feel more and more off and i question more – he said is it going to continue like this? because i keep questioning his behavior – i told him i felt like he was using me he said no he wouldn’t do that he wouldn’t want that done to himself

      (Detail removed by Moderator).

      I tell him im fed up i feel like hes lied on multiple occassions he says we should just end whatever this is then, then retracts and says he likes talking to me/spending time with me he just got annoyed because he doesn’t like being called a liar

      He knows im an overthinker too and points this out on various occasions that i must be overthinking things.

      We continue conversation for a bit and more things keep coming out, he calls his friends fake and annoying, says about one of their relationships ‘we’ll see if it lasts’, calls one a show off, says they like to act better than they are and they talk the game but you know its lies. (Detail removed by Moderator). Insults people from his work he claimed to like – he also states things that he does in a pure contradiction – calls people talkers and not doers and said his friends make up ‘rubbish excuses’

      Im starting to dislike what’s coming out – and again he makes excuses this week not to come so i say (detail removed by Moderator).

      I give up – go no contact – its difficult for some reason even though i know its right – i feel ill panicky, anxious

      I will add too the above while we were still in contact before ending it he started to makes ‘jokes’ a lot in between these stages like after ive eaten something he’ll say.. (detail removed by Moderator).

      He also contradicts himself on multiple occasions things that he said he liked them same as me he slips up and ‘doesn’t like going there’ ‘doesnt like doing that’ a lot of things he has said about himself seem to slip too

      I had to get the morning after pill one time after seeing him and he mocked me afterwards several times like a kid

      I would like to add he also has two phones and also bought a new car and one point and kept the old one – who needs two phones and two cars??

      He also seems to dislike women – every time we watch a show he seems to find the women characters annoying / in words has said he hoped their character would die (for seemingly no good reason) – regularly makes sexist comments – he also does this about sexuality (detail removed by Moderator) – who would do that in this day & age clearly he was the only one judging.

      He crops up (detail removed by Moderator) later saying he wants to ‘see’ where things go and wanted to talk to me (detail removed by Moderator)(eye roll) then he starts texting the next day making excuses – he sounds weird in the texts as if its not him even though it is but i guess he forgot his fake persona after 3 months

      This is just part of the stuff ive wrote i could go on but i dont want it to be too long which it kinda already is – but i feel confused – a part of me actually wanted to message him back? why would i do that after everything and knowing its not right? why am i struggling to stay away? also does he just sound like an a$$ and im being dramatic or was this a form of emotional abuse?

    • #145355
      Camel
      Participant

      Hi Junebug

      ‘does he just sound like an a$$ and im being dramatic or was this a form of emotional abuse?’

      Yes, he’s an a$$
      No, you’re not being dramatic.
      Emotional abuse? Not yet, but don’t hang about until it is.

      This has many of the red flags of an abusive relationship, I’m sure you realise. He was perfect at the start but took no time at all to show you the nut-job game-player he is now.

      You’re right to wonder why you find it so hard to block him completely. Especially when you know everything is just so ‘off’ – his opinions, attitudes, ‘jokes’. His possibly dodgy lifestyle. All the fake, the lies, the bl**dy drama. He really does seem like a prize pr*ck.

      I’d chalk this one up to the pandemic, block him, move on a little wiser and stronger. So far you’ve given him nothing except your time. That’s probably enough.

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