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    • #82151

      Have been looking for a post left by Twisted Sister re the use of devices by an abusive partner.
      I like her believe WA need to produce a leaflet or link to help women with this. My ex feigned ignorance re computers when in fact he was in fact very competent. He was very keen for me to have an iPhone why because of iCloud and their interconnectedness. I made sure that my phone was not connected to it and to this day I do not share with I cloud. He followed me on a site so he knew where I was going. I also believe he had listening devices in the old family home. At one point my security lights went nuts the sensor seemingly on constantly like a light show. Heating too seemed to be on the blink. If I went away despite changing locks etc he or someone got in. Many abusers become stalkers and will use anything or anyone to gather information on their property believe you me if they can not feel love or empathy they see you absolutely as a thing. I am his property that’s why when it’s over with you it’s not with them. They will return to poke at you etc. My ex believes I have ruined his life, yet he has the kids a girlfriend of many years and still the divorce drags on. It’s a campaign of sorched earth. Any device that can gather information will be used by these individuals and I see mine not as a n********t but as a pyschopath. He has to win. Now that I have gone no contact with my sister who really enjoyed having a ringside seat in my marriage, and my brother who was just used to gather so called innocent information. As I have said before my sister followed me abroad on holiday in the same part (detail removed by moderator) at the same time and I was told it was a coincidence so why did she question me at length about the second half of the holiday? Why do I go into detail like this because they do. Believe you me these creatures don’t stop just because we’ve called time. That is why it is very important to be careful what you share even with family. My son was used to sabotage household utilities, to ask very personal questions about previous boyfriends etc I am installing new alarm systems. Keep safe and don’t be too paranoid.

    • #82231
      Main Moderator

      Hi NewWings,

      Thank you for your post on this important topic. We are always interested to hear suggestions from survivors about how to improve resources and support for women.

      There is a page on this website titled ‘Online and Digital Abuse’ that you could have a read through.

      Kind Regards,


    • #82238
      Twisted Sister

      Dear Newwings

      My thread

      This was thread i think you were referencing.

      Yes,there is absolutely reams of words out there, but its very hard work for someone suffering and very incomplete in terms of confrmation that your device is clean or not, likewise your car, or your home free of listening/watching devices.

      They are so easy to buy, theres a sick trend on the rise of men putting them behind the toilts in public loos to film women at their most exposed and then put on the internet.

      Its a losing battle without proper help from specialist big guns to work on womens behal.

      Its well past words, and women continue to be virtually raped, exposed and humiliated through these widespread easily accessed means.

      Life is too easy for the abuser to acquire and employ these things.

      Noone told me about the icloud exploitation despite me being actively involved with da agencies and asking actively for help!!

      I am sorry to hear your experiences.

      Its not commonly discussed on here, but it is common and extremely harmful.

      You’re so right, they use anyone they can …the law states ‘two instances’ but never treats that as law.

      Warmest wishes


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