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    • #143186
      smallbutbrave
      Participant

      he tells me to ‘(detail removed by moderator)’ and I will leave you if you don’t up your game in the bedroom

      It makes me feel sick and makes my skin crawl. He has been so cruel to me over the years but still I stay. when he says i will leave you why the hell can I not just say ok!

      He expects me to come to bed tonight and (detail removed by moderator) and I can not thonk of anything worse. I am tired, I work full time (he doesn’t – he quite clearly doesn’t want to work ever again, he says he can’t (detail removed by moderator) for 8 hours a day) i have to get up so early and last night our little boy didn’t grt to sleep till (detail removed by moderator) and because by the time I finally got to bed I was knackered I really didn’t want sex I wanted to sleep que the arguements and threatening to leave me and just being awful.

      Honestly he can not go one night without sex and it is draining me and making me anxious all the time. He has a very high sex drive and over the years mine has disappeared to nothing. All he talks about is sex and it is driving me mad.

      I am so sad and so down I just can’t see a way out

    • #143191
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      My ex was similar, brought awful weird tacky stuff for me to dress up in. Wanted sex / nakedness at every opportunity. It all went in a black sack almost the same day he went. Still feel sick at some of the stuff I did to keep the peace

    • #143192
      The Duchess
      Participant

      I used to get that all the time also , if we went (detail removed by moderator) the most he would complain , all through the night , sporadic times he would touch me up while I was sleeping and I wasn’t allowed to wear pyj , had to be naked , so he could take when he wanted , and I went along with everything for peace . The time I did reject him and I was wearing pyjamas to bed is the night I got him out as he went absolutely mental that I had turned him down , it turned violent . They think that by using sex it keeps you there with them more of a connection, power a hold .

    • #143194
      Bettertimesahead
      Participant

      Mine used to (detail removed by moderator) missed chances for sex etc
      And the camera was ever present

    • #143207
      smallbutbrave
      Participant

      It’s just awful isn’t it.

      To keep the peace I ‘(detail removed by moderator)’ as he calls it every night but it still isn’t enough. It’s doesn’t go on long enough, we should do it more than once a night, i should be able to go allnight, I should dress up(he has got me some awful outfits tonwear in bed) oh my god the list goes on.

      He asks to do stuff I really don’t want to and if I say no he goes on and on, calls me tight untill i give in.

      I long for a day where I don’t feel worried or anxious at bedtime

    • #143208
      Icandothis
      Participant

      My ex were different a real smooth operator. He were quite gentle but I now know it were all part of it…he too has a high sex drive and wanted to pounce on first date. Xx

    • #143209
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      Oh i know this so well i often had to dress up and perform if i needed money for the kids he would then leave the money on my bedside table afterwards like i was a prostitutue he says now the kids dont need that he misses those days.
      I often just say yes just so we dont argue as sex is a huge issue everything he does if its nice is to get sex he is only ever nice if he wants sex ans often forces me to drink so im more relaxed.
      I hate sex always have always will it makes my skin crawl too. I have no advice just know you are not alone x

    • #143210
      The Duchess
      Participant

      I actually said to my ex the amount of time you spend in my lower regions you should have become a gynaecologist lol ! Took pictures and was forever inspecting down there lol

    • #143509
      RedStrawberry
      Participant

      Can’t believe it took me so long to realise he’d only show me non sexual affection in a hope it would lead to sex. And the moodiness I used to get if I said no but if I said yes he’d be like a addict constantly asking the day after when can I do (something too specific to mention) again. Even just the way he said it made my skin crawl and this would continue til I agreed again

    • #143532
      Bebrave100
      Participant

      I want to cry, as early on in our relationship we had a great sex life, then he wanted more….including other people to join us, which I wasn’t keen on, but did to keep the peace, thinking it would satisfy him and then he’d stop asking for it. It’s got progressively worse, now he apparently has nothing to look forward to in life at all, unless we plan to meet with other couples for socials. I end up drinking more to relax and then end up doing things I don’t want to do. He says he doesn’t want to make me do anything I don’t want to do, but continues to give me the silent treatment, moody, tells his friends that I’m having a breakdown and that all I care about is doing my own things (detail removed by Moderator). If I try and suggest anything other than activities that involve sex, he says my choices are boring E.g cycling, walking holidays, adventure activities and that I’m trying to turn him into boring people like my parents. I just feel exhausted and can’t see a way out. I’m not stupid or uneducated, but feel so trapped and just don’t know what to do. If I try and live my life doing things I enjoy, he calls me selfish, if I try and make an effort with him, he says I’m being insincere and doesn’t want to feel used?! It’s a constant cycle of confusion and abuse and (detail removed by Moderator), so I don’t feel like I’d ever be believed as he’s so good at making it look like I’m losing the plot. I’ve even had to go back on the pill as he felt my hormones were all over the place and I was unstable!! Any advice or wise words?

    • #143539
      Newgirl
      Participant

      I’m so sorry you are also going through this I also have no interest in sex and that seems to have caused major issues also. It also makes my skin crawl thinking about it! I did tell him that if he wants it then finish with me and go get it the response was wow I honestly don’t know what they expect they treat us like rubbish but still want that and I can’t! You are certainly not alone in this I have managed to use health reasons for a long time but that causes arguments. We are now at the point we don’t talk we don’t text we don’t do anything why can he not let me go he is clearly chatting to people online as that is what he accuses me of but I have no interest in it I just want out and rebuild that’s all I don’t care if I never have another relationship again! Sending you a hug x

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