Validation

[Violetwarner]

I have been with my husband for (detail removed by moderator). Right from getting together I was forced to go through social media accounts and remove any men. I wasn’t allowed to talk to male friends (that I’d had for years) anymore. I was always getting accused of speaking to someone, sleeping with someone or being called all the names under the sun. We moved to a different area and had my first child, (detail removed by moderator) He’d lose his temper real quick, although he’s never physically laid a hand on me, he’s broken things, punched holes, spat at me, shouted in my face, backed me into corners. Isolated me from friends and family, if I did go out I’d have constant nasty messages, phone calls and more abuse when I got back. (detail removed by moderator) Take bank cards and car keys so we are unable to leave the house. (detail removed by moderator) The list is huge and I couldn’t ever explain everything that has gone on. (detail removed by moderator) I found the courage to tell him I didn’t want to be with him anymore, but he’s still in the house. I’ve stood my ground through his begging, his viciousness saying nobody else would ever want me etc etc but I feel like I’m stuck in limbo not knowing when he will (if he ever will) go. How do you deal with the feeling of going mad? When they twist EVERYTHING you say to turn it back on you? The being unable to just ask why? Why have you treat me and your children like this? The constant smarmy smiles and fake personality put on for everyone else.

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Violetwarner,

Well done for telling him that you no longer want to be with him… you really are not going crazy although I remember that feeling… after years of abuse, put downs, belittling it gets in your head…

Have you got support? Also, is your home in both your names as if his name isn’t on your tenancy/mortgage (whatever you have) then he can be made to go…abusers very rarely leave on their own accord.

How he is treating you and your children is disgusting and non of it is your fault… I was with my husband for decades… I am a few years out now… keep taking baby steps to push forwards…see your GP or contact your local Women’s Aid for advice?

Big hugs
HfH ❤️

[Lost lady]

Hi violetwarner
I’m in a very similar situation , been with him many years , mine will not leave so I’m afraid I can’t be any help.
Our house is jointly owned so I’m stuck at the minute . He says we have to stay together for the kids 🤷‍♀️ and is being nicer atm but I know it won’t last.
Speak to a solicitor if you can to see where you stand – you can get half hour free advice from some family law solicitors.
I am trying to distance myself from him in the hope he will admit it’s over
Baby steps and keep posting on here there are sone amazingly strong women on this forum who are very inspiring
Stay strong x

[Author]

Posts