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So I’ve gone from writing on here wondering but almost knowing how wrong things were to having the goal posts moved as was said to me but now to predictable new behaviour.
It’d always been roughness temper lashing out argument based after.. mood dominating the home etc however I can’t seem to process now the past few (detail removed by moderator).
He wanted sex (detail removed by moderator) again after the (detail removed by moderator) horrible time ( he used to not even have it for at longest a year) I gave in for ease he cut my skirt to make it shorter first saying it was too long but that now he’s cut it I can’t wear it out and that my legs should be hidden
He said he’d be gentle and wouldn’t do “ anal” and he kept his word. I was shocked that I wasn’t hurt. But he woke me hours later and then clearly did what He wanted he’s left neck marks and I ache and I’m just so glad it is getting cooler to wear different things . I’m spilling all this out because I just can’t face the reality but writing it is almost like I’ve got it out it’s not left there as a dirty secret so I apologise to you all for waffling.
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One question that’s cropped up tonight in my head and I googled and have actually dialled but one user mentioned calling 101 if not an emergency but to ask an officer but I chockened out when I heard it divert to my local county police force. They don’t send an immediate car round do they even if they “ deem” unsafe or do they remain able to make safe appointments?
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As far as I know you can report him anonymously. You can always call the number where your own policing unit will handle the call and ask that question.
You can report dv online too but not sure if you can do that anonymously.
So sorry to hear you have been violated like this.
You don’t deserve to be treated this way, I really hope that you can know this for yourself.
You can also be anonymous callingbWA helpline and get everything logged. This WA, if you decide to then use that record at any point you can request it al be sent to you as evidence of incidents, should you ever want or need to its there.
Take care, hugs and warmest wishes to you .ts
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when you phone 101 they give your details to the DV section, you can tell them a safe time to call back.
they are so helpful and kind and easy to talk to.
at first they will just talk and go through a couple of questions. then they will go through the options with you.
its so hard to ring, but I’m so glad I did. with me they haven’t spoken to my husband, I was concerned about his reaction and I’m not quite ready to leave/kick him out (I can feel it coming though) and they have a record of it. I also handed over my ‘story’ that I had typed up and they have that on record as well.
they told me if at any time I feel threated to ring 999 and a unit will come to help.
although I was panicky before I spoke to them I now feel a little safer knowing that if I need them they already know about me. -
Ok thank you ladies for advice. I possibly have a few hours without him in house tonight.
I think I’m just worried that if I involve even just speaking to women’s aid in depth ( I’ve spoken a few times about certain things) that they could over ride me saying I don’t want any action just simply them to be aware if that makes sense sort of like a safety net or record of things… but I remember when the police took him the only time I’ve called 999 on him even though I was adamant for him to not be taken away they over rode it due to visible injuries or evidence as they put it ..they could proceed with ensuring he was locked up for the night or something along those lines. – agh. I played down all questions on their questionnaire etc in the morning and was desperate to pick him up as was scared he was so cross at me. They must have thought I was really odd. So I’m put off slightly and vowed to never call them but now I’m all over place !
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My understanding is that Women’s Aid will not disclose what you tell them unless you ask them to. And they won’t pressure you to take action before you are ready. Please call them and discuss your options. What your partner is doing to you is disgusting and illegal. It’s really hard to break free on your own, but you can do it with support. Women’s aid can provide that support.
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