This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Lisa 5 months, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
  • #67760

    Hi, I am new in this forum.
    I need advice on where to start please! I’m leaving a toxic marriage and have had enough. My husband bullies me constantly and emotionally tortured me and all that in front of our (detail removed by moderator) old son. Our son gets very scared of it all that’s why I’m thinking to leave. But the problem is I have no family in this country and don’t know where to go. I’m considering the refugee but don’t know how it works and am very scared. Please any advice of what I should do and where to start. Thanks xx

  • #67787

    Hi Beatrice welcome to the family. I’m still with my oh, some of us have yet to leave, some have left, some have returned. You’ve made a starry by posting on here, week done. It’s not easy sharing private stuff. Have you tried to contact WA yet. Either the national helpline or your local one. They will give you great advice, don’t judge and most of all you’re in control deciding when you do what you choose to do. They can also get you into refuge or a safe house.
    My oh is very verbal, calls me the most vile names, emotionally abuses me, has gasglighted me throughout and ive recently found out(by being on here) that he’s financially abused me too, just not in the way i thought financial abuse was.
    My son was terrified of him, so much so as a young man he has no confidence, no self esteem, gets angry very easily, takes dr..s and drinks too. Don’t let that happen to your boy😪. if you have any pets, dogs trust will take them, just mention about the abuse and they will make taking them a priority.
    I wish none of us had to find this forum, but it’s a life saver. We are the only ones who understand what each of us is going through. Take care and failte (welcome)
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #67791

    Beatrice, I only posted for the first time yesterday myself, but just wanted to say I understand what not having any family in this country means, it makes it so so much harder to make the decision. I’m in the same situation. X

  • #67911
    Main Moderator

    Hi Beatrice

    Welcome to the forum. A good place to start finding out information is the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 they can explain all your options to you and explain about refuge and answer any questions you have. They can also give you the contact details of your local support service and any other organisations they think might be useful for you. If you decide to call leave a voicemail if you cant get through to a helpline worker straight away, in the voicemail you can ask for a specific time frame for them to call you back within 24hrs when you know your abuser wont be around.

    Take care and keep posting


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