This topic contains 14 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Seeingclearly 1 month, 1 week ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #79384
     AlwaysSorry 
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’ve been having a very hard time lately and I’m crying non-stop and really struggle with thoughts (does he hate me? will he punish me? am I getting arrested? should I just do as he said and not be here anymore?) but I mentioned some time ago that I had tried to build a wardrobe and it didn’t go so well. Today I managed to fix it. It’s not a wobbly wardrobe anymore, it stands by itself. I’m really trying to think that’s a good thing so I just came to write that here, might be stupid but I just thought I’d try

  • #79385
     Landy 
    Participant

    Not stupid at all. You fixed the wardrobe. Know why? Because you can survive without him. You don’t need him.

    My ex constantly me I was going to be arrested. It terrified me because he was such a liar and would say whatever he thought he had to to get his revenge.

    Are you still with him or are you out?

  • #79386
     AlwaysSorry 
    Participant

    He kicked me out some time ago because I reported his latest assault. He’s under bail conditions but I worry what will happen once the case is over if he isn’t found guilty. There’s no relationship anymore and i’m just very sad or angry all the time. I really needed it to feel good to fix the wardrobe but it didn’t, nothing feels good, but you writing it’s not stupid and I can survive did help to read so thank you for that. But now I kind of feel guilty oh it’s just all messy in my head. At least the wardrobe stands fine

  • #79394
     Fudgecake 
    Participant

    I remember reading your post about the wardrobe. Well done on fixing it. It’s another small step in the right direction- keep going x

  • #79396
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    I think and feel this is a really, really important step with the wardrobe.

    Do you know, I have a door on my child’s wardrobe that I can’t fix.

    It is a considerable achievement of yours. and to be celebrated I believe.

    all best
    ftc
    x

  • #79397
     freedomtochoose 
    Blocked

    I think and feel this is a really, really important step with the wardrobe.

    Do you know, I have a door on my child’s wardrobe that I can’t fix.

    It is a considerable achievement of yours. and to be celebrated I believe.

    all best
    ftc
    x

  • #79404
     SunshineRainflower 
    Participant

    I think things like this matter a lot as we were trained to think we were useless and incapable. Fixing a wardrobe is impressive! Lots of people would ask someone else to do a job like that as it seems quite daunting but you did it yourself which shows strength, resilience and resourcefulness.
    I felt very proud earlier this year when I went to IKEA and bought two pieces of furniture, arranged to collect them, got them in the car, into my place and assembled them and now use them every day. when I see them now I still think it’s pretty great I did all of that, and a sign of what I can do, just like you with the wardrobe.

  • #79410
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hey, well done. It’s a positive thing you did. I upscaled my old furniture by painting it. It was such a big step for me and looks great. Any little thing that brings positivity is great. Have you tried some mindfulness relaxation exercises. It’s important to try and relax to bring down the adrenaline. Even simple breathing exercises. Check out YouTube for some relaxation techniques. I like the one about balancing the chakras lol. Interesting 🤔

  • #79417
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    im thinking deep here! but maybe this signifies change it shows that youve built something that has stability. this is what you will eventually build for yourself in your life i mean. hope that dosent sound silly – sending positive laws of attraction your way xx

    much love diymum

  • #79437
     Flowerchild 
    Participant

    Hey, you did well! I struggled with a bookcase I tried to assemble for my daughter’s rented place. Couldn’t make it stand firm and one of the shelf support pins disappeared. Next visit I drove those screws right in and used an extra to replace the lost pin. Success!

    Small victories like this remind us we don’t need abusers around us messing our lives up just for a bit of DIY. We can do it for ourselves!

    Well done!

    Flower x

  • #79554
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    Every achievement deserves an applause and moment of recognition and goodness definately building a warderobe, this is huge and impressive. Now you see your achievement every day and you can tell yourself, if you can do that you’ll be able to do other things too. It is very positive, well done.
    Make yourself comfortable with crying, I cried so much lately, I had to switch from crying into my little handkerchief into a bigger kitchen towel.
    Sending you a big hug.

  • #79590
     AlwaysSorry 
    Participant

    Thank you so much everyone x

    It’s helped with the anger a lot, it might not have felt as good as I had hoped it would, but the anger seems to have gone for now.

    I don’t know what I’d do without this forum, just thank you so much everyone x

  • #79616
     HopeLifeJoy 
    Participant

    I’m happy for you that your anger has subsided.
    Me too, eternally grateful for this forum, I can’t even put into words how much it means to me, I don’t know either what I would do without it…

  • #82254
     Flowerchild 
    Participant

    Now you have your sturdy wardrobe you can visualise shoving him into the back of it and firmly shutting the door on him whenever he crossed your mind!

    Power to your elbow.

    Flower x

  • #83687
     Seeingclearly 
    Participant

    The wardrobe was only wobbly until you found a way to steady it. When you are feeling wobbly, try to focus on how much simpler life will be when you have found a way through all of this and are standing as strong and steady as the wardrobe 🙂

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