This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  [email protected] 3 weeks, 4 days ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #86304
     Yellowflower 
    Participant

    So I have been really missing him lately. I posted on here and had some wonderful advice from you lovely ladies. So I’ve began to pick myself up. I had abit of a health issue this week so focused on that and was feelin ok about him just stagnant really. We have children together so unfortunately aren’t no contact. My solicitor advised against a third party as it looks like I’m being difficult….But now I’ve found the contact very triggering. My ex talks to me like you would to someone in a meeting that your against. Very cold very precise using all fancy words like his swallowed a dictionary. I find it so sad that he can talk to me like that with no feeling what so ever. Not like I’m the mother of his child or someone he used to love. Like someone he hates but has to tolerate. Why oh why when I’m the one who never shouted at him never physically hurt him, never cheated, changed who I was to try and make him happy. Why does he get to just stop loving me like that. Did he even ever love me? It’s messing with my head I hate still loving him I hate still missing him I need to block it out I know but it’s so hard. I think I’m ok and then bam it hurts me again. Before I left I had no idea how hard this would be. It feels never ending I wish I could turn my feelings off like he does. I’m sure I’ve been replaced by now too. Which just breaks my heart I can’t even look at another man right now.

  • #86305
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Change your solicitor. Get one that understand abusive men and save yourself a lot of pain and money. It only looks like you’re being difficult if you don’t explain the reasons why. My first solicitor was dreadful and put me in danger. If they aren’t experienced in dealing with an abuser they will make your legal journey much harder. You’re not being difficult at all. You’re allowing contact with the children via a third party. How is that difficult? You can ask your GP for a supporting letter. Don’t allow him to continue to destroy you. You have every right to protect your own wellbeing and therefor that of your children. Solicitors might be needed for the legal side of things but don’t let them bully you to make their own life easier. Challenge them. You instruct them, not the other way around.

  • #86308
     [email protected] 
    Participant

    i had to change solicitor a few times until i got a great lawyer. third party for handovers and communication is the only way. if he gets anywhere near you he will take every opportunity to hurt you. i tried for quite sometime to negotiate over the phone and face to face. to be honest his behaviour got even worse xx

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