Was it me all along

[Daff]

I think it was me, the things that I’m hearing make sense. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill. Is my behaviour affecting the children and their feelings about him and his new girlfriend. I think it was me. Where do I go from here. So many questions and all the answers point to me being the abusive one.

[Lisa]

Hi Daff

I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling. It’s really not you, you are not the abusive one. We often hear how perpetrators will twist things and make the survivor feel like the abuser, but it’s not you.

Please keep posting on the forum and let us know how you are,

Lisa

[Bananaboat]

I’d put money on loads of us on here having laid in bed, probably in tears wondering if we’re the problem. I’ve been called every name under the sun, told I need to be locked up, I’m an unfit mother, unfit friend, unfit person, that multiple bad things that happen in life are my own fault. Most recently I got told I was in the wrong (detail removed by moderator) so I should accept his drink/drug/abuse (detail removed by moderator)  now…erm no. You start to think am I, did I, do I. Should I be locked up, is it linked to my cycle, am I mentally unwell, am I the n********t…it’s what they want, that confusion, the fog but a lot of it is them projecting. When the fog starts to clear you’ll see this.

[Stargazing1]

I have read many post on the forum and always find similar things happening in other people’s life’s. I have had many a time where I’ve blamed myself and I’ve had many conversations with womens aid who tell me it is abuse . I am and still will blame myself for all the stuff that happens. I’ve become weak and stuck due to illness. I believe it isn’t you . It’s is hard to believe it sometimes but please believe me it is definitely not you . Please take care. There’s a saying go with what your gut tells you .

[Author]

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