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I’m so worried I’ve made a huge mistake reporting it and I’ve lost the man I truest loved. He could be at times the best boyfriend I had lots of laughs with him. At times he could be so loving. At times he would do lots of things for me and cared how I felt about things. At times he really did support me. At times I saw our future so bright so happy. Our little family. But he had another side to him. One that no matter what I did or said I couldn’t control and it would come from no where. He would rage at me ( I say rage because it wasn’t like a normal person shouting at you)he would swear at me and call me names . On a few occasions he was physical but then did I cause that by Standing my ground. He could be so generous with money but then use it against me later on. At the time I saw no way forward but now I just miss him. I just miss what it could have been and wonder was it really as bad as I thought. Could I have helped him stop being that person he could be. Maybe I was the one not looking at it the right way not approaching it the right way. I worry now I’ve done the wrong thing speaking out and I’ve lost my family forever when I used to see so much of a future for us. Will he ever see that I did this because I needed him to see I couldn’t cope anymore that I needed him to get help. Will we ever be together again.
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You did not cause him to be violent or abusive. He chooses to behave that way. Abuse always gets worse. I know you’re confused and want the good kind generous man you thought he was. But that man does not exist. Something needed to change and he wasn’t about to change. So you had no choice but to protect yourself. Hold your head high. You’ve done nothing wrong. Google the cycle of abuse. They can be so very generous. Mine was extremely generous but there was always a price to pay. It was always thrown back in my face. Used against me. Good people don’t do that. I used to say he threw me off a cliff then ran down and rescued me. Although I couldn’t see it at the time x
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Darling Yellow flower,
It’s the switch they pull that is so crazy-making, isn’t it?
You’re on a knife edge all the time, wondering when he’s going to flip into a terrifying rage that seems to have no cause or trigger.
That isn’t the best boyfriend ever, darling, however he might behave between times. Those rages were just too high a price to pay for the good bits.
Would you buy a car that now and then took off at high speed for no reason? Would you feel safe in it? Would it be okay because mostly it worked well? What about your safety and peace of mind?
No, you did exactly the right thing!
Flower x
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