Was this abuse?

[Reimagine]

I was with my ex for a long time, he was so amazing at the beginning of the relationship, and then he used to make me feel like no one else would want me, he’d call me ugly, fat, stupid and whenever I thought about going back to college to make a career he would say that I shouldn’t bother because I won’t get anywhere, but then sometimes he would say how beautiful I am and how he was so proud of me. He would always b***h about my family and I’d have to make excuses as to why he didn’t attend family gatherings, when I would always make so much effort with his. He would pick who my friends were and if I didn’t text him within an hour of him texting me he would start insulting me, telling me I don’t love him and say I was cold hearted and I didn’t care about him. He would get so angry sometimes that he would throw objects or kick/punch the walls and a handful of time’s he would slap me across the head and when I would get upset about it he would tell me to get a grip and that I’m being over sensitive. He would always make me feel like I was the bad guy, I did cheat on him amongst all of this and he knew how sorry I was but he would never let go of it. His mum knew he could be horrible to me at times but she would always tell me to just ignore him.

Sometimes I feel like I’m overreacting and other times I feel like I was abused emotionally and physically.

[iliketea]

Hi, welcome to the forum, I’m going to bump some posts, they’re getting quite long now, but some really good insights and experiences from other women. I think they will really help. You are not making this up. You are not overreacting. This is what domestic abuse looks like. Its called the Cycle of Abuse what you experienced. Have you done any reading, or listening to audio books? They’re some really good ones on the Booklist, I’ll bump that too.
Lundy Bancroft “Why Does he Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”. There’s also something called the Freedom Programme which might help you understand your experience. They’re peer support groups but with covid they are also online – you could look at following one of those. Its eye opening.
This is a really safe and supportive forum, so feel comfortable to post whenever you want and they’ll be someone along soon enough to reply and give you their thoughts, experiences, opinions.
There’s a wonderful escape too called Sanctuary Cottage that Braelynn created, she’s a writer, its a place to go to rest and recharge, a fantasy world, that’s safe and away from it all.
Welcome. xx

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