- This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 3 days, 20 hours ago by Anonymous.
16th July 2021 at 1:22 am #128887AnonymousInactive
Met my partner some years ago now,we have kids together. Originally when we got together he use to talk about his ex constantly and compare me and pick fault, took me to do the same to him for this to stop. He gets jealous and abit paranoid from time to time I do everything cook clean wash but it’s never enough says the house is a mess and goes checking for dust I honestly just thought he’s abit off but then he started wanting me to do weird things in the bedroom, kinda (detail removed by moderator) him but I’m not (detail removed by moderator) at all he’s forcing me into that role. If I say no he huffs and puffs and makes life hard. Won’t let me sleep, wakes the kids banging about, tells me well it will wait till tomorrow, make me do stuff for hours, he’s forced himself on me a few times will sometimes apologise but only if I pull him up on it. I’m so so tired he’s kept me up till (detail removed by moderator), child’s woke up, we are (detail removed by moderator) not my offer and the dogs crying all night I’m the one dealing with it.
I don’t even know what all this is i darent leave him 2 disabled kids no help I’m ill I’m just exhausted in every way possible
16th July 2021 at 8:42 am #128898littledoveParticipant
Yes this definitely abuse. It’s coercion. And he’s forcing himself on you when you don’t want him to.
I’m sorry you are going through this.
But if you were to leave there are loads of agencies that would be able to support you with 2 disabled children. Could you not speak to Citizen’s advice about your options?
It’s amazing how well we can actually adapt to situations and make them work when we are no longer willing to deal with our old ways of life (with your partner).
Ask yourself, are you REALLY better off with him than without him? Is your life more stressful with him around than it would be with him not in your life?
I honestly think you’re way worse with him around than what you would be without him. I keep sharing this post in the “Getting Out” page but it’s honestly amazing and I highly recommend you give it a read over, I’ll post it in a comment below xx
16th July 2021 at 8:43 am #128899
16th July 2021 at 11:21 am #128907AurielParticipant
Drypond It absolutely and categorically is abuse your being emotionally and sexually abused , it’s sooo hard to recognise while your deep in the thick of it ( I know through personal experience) , this is another one of those times when I won’t be able to function properly after coming off the forum , I didn’t recognise abuse as abuse for a while I was too forgiving too laid back and my upbringing had taught me to freeze and fawn in situations naturally , if and when your ready to get outside help , I know there will be people/ organisations to do that, my heart goes out to you beautiful please take care 💗💗💗
18th July 2021 at 7:18 am #128955CatjamParticipant
This is abuse. Mine would do similar stuff. If I told him no to certain situations then he would sulk or go silent. Sometimes he just wouldn’t leave me alone till I gave in just so I could sleep. Every so often he would want to talk about how boring I was. That he needed more.
Sorry this is harder than I thought.
Have you considered reaching out to your gp? It may be a small step into getting help and they may know of agencies that can help you look after your children.
You deserve so much more and to be treated with respect and love. Take care xx
24th July 2021 at 5:45 pm #129217AnonymousInactive
Hi thankyou, he’s not here at the moment I’m just so fed up of the cruelty, Ive been harsher, I’m standing up for myself and his life is spiralling it’s like he needs that control of me for himself. I’m hoping he walks away and leaves us alone life’s so much easier when he’s not here he just repulses me when he comes over to me i feel sick! He’s been spying on everything I do I don’t know how he’s doing it but any male who likes, comments or I like or comment on status’s off he deletes them. He’s giving me a right head mash.
Why are some people like this
24th July 2021 at 6:01 pm #129219ladiesand gentlemenParticipant
PLEASE get some advice on how to leave.
Mine did this and eventually ended up raping me (in the worst way possible)
It must be extremely hard for you with the children, ask for help, start with your GP,Health visitor?
This kind of abuse will escalate, they love the fear and control.
YOU and your children deserve more, much more !!!
At the end of the day the housework can wait, he sounds like that’s just another way to control and belittle you, I USED to feel like this and have realised over time that’s its HIM that’s not good enough
Confide is someone you trust or an agency, Citizens Advice ?
Disability charity ? Social Services ?
Try blocking him in your head at first(it really helps)
Stay safe. Look after yourself x*x
28th July 2021 at 12:50 am #129349AnonymousInactive
Can I just say he’s gone! He’s actually gone, he’s beat me down so much without even needing to lift a finger to me. That light bulb has just flicked on, he’s raped me more than once, he’s sexually assaulted me pretty much every night for so many years. I don’t know how il recover from it but I just know I feel a 100% percent better than I did just with him out of the house.
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