what are my options

[Ilikechicken]

Hi i am looking for some advice as i am thinking of leaving my partner.

We have a joint mortgage and two children. I am currently not working as i cant afford child care yet until my child is old enough for free childcare. I have no access to money other than the kids cb, tax credits etc which is minimal and i have non spare to pay for a solicitor as i have to pay my bills. I need to find somewhere to leave to is council housing a likely option for me (although when house is sold i am likely to get a bit of equity), i couldn’t afford private rent or get the needed deposit, i am unsure if i could even buy a shared ownership as i wud most likely be able to cover the mortgage (when working) and not the rent component. Staying in our current home isn’t an option as my partner and his family wud malicious and refuse to leave, i couldn’t do that to my kids or myself.

Also can i make him sell our home if he is unable to buy me out.
thank u for any advice. xx

[Twisted Sister]

There is an occupancy order, and he would have to leave or be arrested for trying to return.

If you were able to get into refuge with your vital docs you would have 1-1 support with all this.

You could instigate divorce proceedings on the grounds you have and make the case for his abuses to the children.

Please call the helpline, as they can advise and out you in touch with all relevant agencies.

Warmest wishes ts

[dustypink]

I am in similar situation!
unfortunately the only option is injunction order so he will leave.
No council house (you have mortgage).
If you leave even, you are still responsible for paying mortgage same as him, are you sure he will pay?
This is very difficult situation, I was searching through and didn’t find any othe options unfortunately (

[dustypink]

Also if you are not working you are eligible for Legal Aid.
Google Civil Legal Aid, go to the website, fill the form and they will call you back. They will advise solicitors who work in your area with legal aid.

You must have proof of domestic abuse – this can be letter from a professional, GP, support worker etc.

You can also apply for injunction order by yourself – online – there is no fee and no solicitor needed.

When I spoke to local housing, they told me, that they are completely not interested for me & kids to be on the streets. They put me in the system for council house, but with band E, which means I will never get the house ) They told, that the system, all state organisations, including court etc are interested for me to stay in the house and for abuser to move out. That’s why there is possibility to get injunction order without solicitor.

So, for me (my situation is the same, the only difference is I have 3 kids and already filed for divorce on my own) my solicitor advised me the steps:
– apply for legal aid (we are in process now)
– apply for injunction order – both occupation & molestation in my case
– when he moves out apply for all possible benefits – you’ll be also able, as he won’t be living with you anymore
– prepare to live for several months in this status until court hearings held about finances & children

He also asked if I want to keep the house (there are options that court decision will be not to sell it until children are 18), but I would prefer to sell it and break all possible bonds with my husband.

[Lisa]

Hello,

Thank you for this post. I just wanted to show you some support and to recommend that you phone the helpline for some support and some safety planning advice. It can be a very stressful, and potentially dangerous time to stay in a house with your abuser while you separate so the helpline and your local Women’s Aid can offer you advice with this. It may also be worthwhile to consider a refuge if you feel vulnerable and anxious staying where you are. Shelterline can be a good place to start gathering your housing options- http://www.shelter.org.uk

Solicitors will always advise that you stay in the property as they are keen on protecting your assets however yours and the children’s well being is the most important thing, even if that means that in the short term, financially you are a bit worse off.  You will be richer in your happiness and feeling secure.  You know your perpetrator best and if you are feeling fearful or at risk then please re consider staying in the property.  The helpline can advice you further on this matter.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Ilikechicken]

Thank u all for the advice. I know he will pay the mortgage because he will want to buy another house, he looks down on renting and council. I don’t really want to stay in this house I’m surrounded by his family nf they will see this as me being unreasonable and an attack if I got an injunction and I don’t want to deal with their childish petty games. I just want to secure a place to go so I can go after Xmas but can’t see a solution as I have no money. Thank you Lisa I may give them a call when I can use someone else’s phone, my contract is linked to his and he sometimes looks at who I’ve called. I hope things work out for you dusty pink that sounds a difficult situation :(. My plan wud have to be to just go when he at work or away for and take a few things, he wud just be so difficult and use kids to upset, he wud not leave the house. I’ve seen the things his family has done and I know what I’m in for so I just don’t want to rock the boat too much when j make my exit, don’t want to give them any excuses to attack me.

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