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Ive been with my partner for a long time, we have kids together. Our relationship has always been rocky. We went through a good patch in (detail removed by Moderator) and decided to get married, things are booked and in place, parents have contributed. We are to be married (detail removed by Moderator).
Things have gotten worse. He is snappy and i feel like im walking on egg shells all the time. I dread each day. He just seems so angry. Theres been some physical abuse during arguments on his end, not enough for me to need treatment or visible injuries. He shouts a lot and puts me down.
I feel like im walking around with a rain cloud over my head, ive never felt so low and anxious. He doesnt seem to think theres anything wrong with his behaviour and its all down to me being sensitive. i am quite scared of him.
I dont want to marry him, whenever the wedding gets brought up i feel like i cant breathe and im screaming inside. i cant live the rest of my life like this. I dont want to live with him. We have a joint tenenact on a council house. I do not want me and the kids to leave, its not fair.
How do i end this awful relationship? I want to feel safe and feel like me again
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Speak to Women’s Aid, the online chat or phone. I say it all the time but in our relationships we forget we have a choice and if our relationship isnt giving us what we want or need then we should be able to say that our choice is to break up, not get married or delay the wedding.
Break ups are hard but in abuse it’s ten times harder because the other person just doesn’t accept your decision, maybe doesn’t act rationally or logically, generally doesn’t accept the split and makes you into the bad guy – you lose the choices we should all have.
I know you desperately want to stay in the home, I think many of us did but some things to consider are:
– he’ll always believe it’s his home too even if he leaves
– he probably wont leave, you might get lucky but most of us on here have a story around this
– you have bad memories in that home, not just good ones. So do the kids. A fresh home gives you a new start without the triggers/reminders
i know for ease and probably schools etc it can feel easier to stay but sometimes that’s can become a negative in the world of abuse x
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