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    • #121578
      Heythere
      Participant

      I’ve been out for a while, he’s blocked, we have no contact (apart from the odd time he tries to contact, I just block again and again). I have no way to contact him, I know I shouldn’t and I can’t but I miss him. The good him I remember. Not that there was much good now looking back. I thought it was a perfect relationship, I didn’t see anything wrong, so in my mind even now I think most of the time things were great. I hate him for what he did but I miss the soft kind him.

      I’m in a new relationship and struggling to trust, thinking about my ex still sometimes, I feel like a horrible person. My new man is absolutely fantastic and was a gem through all the nastiness with my ex.

      I know it takes time…but any ideas how to process the good thoughts and move on?!

      I’m tearing myself apart like this. !

    • #121579
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, have you had counselling? That helps to process the abuse. Also, try writing a journal of all the abuse he did and how that made you feel. Try to remember the man you fell in love with doesn’t exist. That’s just a mask he wore to reel you in and hook you in. We all have good memories because that’s how abuse works. So be very kind to yourself, take baby steps x

      • #121590
        Heythere
        Participant

        I haven’t had counselling I’m not ready to talk that openly but thank you so much xx

    • #121580
      KIP.
      Participant

      Stick to zero contact. It does get easier but if he persists in trying to contact you then please contact the police x

      • #121589
        Heythere
        Participant

        Unfortunately they were useless. X*x

    • #121613
      KIP.
      Participant

      They’re not all useless. Unfortunately you do meet some ignorant ones but they’re there to assist. Ask for the domestic abuse unit if you call back. Don’t write them off because you may need them x your local women’s aid are a good support and Paladin which is an anti stalking organised can offer advice too. Don’t take chances with him x reporting him to the police and getting them to inform and warn him him sometimes helps us to burn those bridges that temp us back over x

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