What do you think?

[blue eyes]

I just wanted to see if I could have some feedback about my second ex. I am not sure if he was abusive or not or if I was over reacting in view of my previous relationship. He was very nice to me at the start and he seemed so different from my first ex. He listened he walked beside me(the first one used to walk in front of me and berated me for not being able to walk faster as I have a disability), he was kind considerate. However he was very close to this married couple and liked to spend lots of time with them and their children. His son and their son were friends. My second ex had been on his own for a good few years. They cooked him meals and he helped with an elderly member of their family. No problems so far, until you factor in the married woman. He talked about the couple non stop how great they were but it seemed to me he would mention the woman all the time. He would take her shopping, pick her up and take her home from work, take her to work in the morning, pick her kids up from their grandparents and from school. He had a photo in his phone of his son with the woman. He mentioned what she wore how she didn’t need to lose weight when her husband had said she shouldn’t eat desert. She was very pretty and younger than me but she wasn’t very friendly she was quite loud and I didn’t feel comfortable in her presence. He would dry their clothes because her husband did not want her to have a drier because it was too expensive. I can understand them all being close and helping each other out like a family but to me it seemed excessive too close a bit weird. Maybe it just me I am so confused by it all. When we first got together we picked her up from work.She got in the car and I said hello, she did not reply she just sat there glowering. I was in the front. We went to a shop to get me some flowers for my birthday, while he was out of the car she said they couldn’t do without him and he was a gentle giant. The next day he took her shopping and she said she had seen some flowers like the ones her mother had liked, but had not money left. He bought her flowers. The elderly relative had back pain. She gave her black lacy corset to my ex to give to the relative. Every day,literally, she would phone for my ex to take her somewhere or to do a job for her. she rang three times in half an hour until she got him to go and help her. She did that twice ringing three times in half an hour asking him how long would he be. We were being intimate once and had been trying to sort out a row because of her and she rang and he went to help her. One evening she came to the house just as we were going to have a cuddle so she could collect her drying and my face must have given me away because she came in all guns blazing shouting what is all that about. He couldn’t see anything wrong in her behaviour he defended her all the time. I can understand that they may have acted like this for years but now he had a girlfriend surely she should have backed off. She had a husband two sons a nephew and a brother but it was always my ex who had to help her. She cut his hair twice in a few months. I feel it was just so she could find reasons to limit our time together. He defended her. He took me for a medical appointment and the same week she was suddenly ill and had to go to the emergency room and of course he had to take her. He spent all evening there. The next day she wanted him to collect a family member, and the day after that he had to take the family member back. I never saw him the whole weekend. We were out once and she rang asking him to pick her up early from work. I said to him can you not help them on certain days he said it doesn’t work like that. We only saw each other on certain days but eventually even on these days she was ringing wanting something. I was beside myself with frustration, I didn’t mind him helping but not to this extent/.I said do you fancy her he said no and laughed and I said does she fancy you and he said I don’t think so. We ended up rowing every time we met because of her. I couldn’t get through to him he said why couldn’t he help them.He wanted me to hang around with them but I just didn’t feel comfortable with her, she was a bit snide with me a couple of times. I don’t understand this at all maybe its me. He wouldn’t have anything said against her. please help with some insight.

[blue eyes]

I wanted to add that he told her about me getting upset and she said,” she thinks I am stalking her”. They thought it was funny. He used to tell them where we went and what we did. he said he used to delete his texts at the end of each day. One time he had dropped me off at my house so I could get something and he was waiting for me in the car, while he was waiting he was texting her. He wanted me to go and watch a show with them I said I didn’t want to because there was nowhere for me to sit down.He said my limited mobility missus(he knew my first ex had tormented me because of my disability). The real reason was because I did not feel comfortable with her. I was very self conscious about my disability because of my first partner and I said to the second ex why did he want to go out with me when I couldn’t walk. He said it was so I wouldn’t run away. He came with me to a benefit appointment when I offered to go with him to something similar he said we would get wet in the rain if I came. One day we had been lying on the sofa together, the next time I saw his son, the son made a point of lying on the sofa and looking at me. Once I was trying to cuddle up to my ex and he was sitting at an angle and I couldn’t get to him so I was shuffling about. I later asked him if he wanted to go to the cinema, he said no because I would only shuffle about. I wonder if he started being nasty to me because I argued with him about the female friend. Maybe I should have kept quiet about it all, maybe I was making a mountain out of a molehill?

[blue eyes]

One day we went for a drive in the country. He drove really fast along a particular piece of road. I never said anything. He said when he drove there with a previous ex she was screaming at him to slow down. During that trip a rabbit ran across the road. It might be just my imagination but I could have sworn he speeded up and he ended up killing it. Another time an old man on a scooter could not get passed on a pavement due to a large fallen branch and he would not stop to help

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