- This topic has 12 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 4 months ago by Iwantmeback.
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7th November 2018 at 8:34 pm #66725AnonymousInactive
Hi everyone, I’ve been thinking more and more about how to create strength to keep going and to recover. When I finally realised my ex would need a labotomy to change his ways! I gave up on him and our life together for good. After reading some posts today I realised that although the hard part of this process is escaping. A just as hard phase follows, that stage when your alone,single (I can only speak for myself)but I felt like a lost little girl,very alone in the world.it was like an apocalypse had struck. I’m sure I probably had a nervous breakdown at this point. However I wasn’t I had friends and family giving me advice but I just couldn’t take any of it on board and i still felt alone . One night I was with my best friend who decided to read my cards, she based it on my birthday and translated it into English as she is from let’s say Europe.When she read out what I was she said you are actually the strongest card in the pack, you are the sun. She went on to translate that when you are the sun the planets rotate around you. Basically she was saying if you believe you will have what you want. It is a theory lots of psychologists use called the self fulfilling prophecy. In fact the proof is in the pudding when our abusers use this in a negative way. They tell us your ugly,your nothing, your stupid. They tell us enough times we truly honestly believe it! So turned on its head if we tell ourselves enough, we can do this, we can get away, stay strong what ever it is we want to achieve we can. In religion we do it,in sport what feels like the impossible has been and can be achieved. I am feeling positive today because I’m going to use this phylisopy to try to heal. You might be thinking I’m sitting with round glasses and a tye dye dress on but I’m just a normal person, not all that strong in stature and vulnerable and insecure at times I’m a work in progress!๐ I hope this is a little uplifting โบxx๐
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7th November 2018 at 8:43 pm #66726IwantmebackParticipant
I love this post DIYmum. It is full of strength and vitality. Im a believer in angels numbers. I’ve been shouted at by the universe for over a year. What I’m seeing a lot of is my initials (maiden name not married)with corresponding numbers that scream at me to be the person i want to be. I can and will do this. Blessings to you.
Ps nothing wrong with a bit of the tiedye
IWMB ๐๐ -
7th November 2018 at 8:50 pm #66727AnonymousInactive
Hello fellow hippy ๐lol love tye dye back in the day would look rediculous now on me anyway! I believe in heaven although I’m not religious. It give us comfort to know we will see our granny and grandad again. I also believe in good and that love and truth prevail โบhey I’m sure you will achieve your goals, your ostrich has made me smile ! We have a bonus that in mind women are actually the stronger of the sees and can think with our brains ! Xx ๐ชโบ
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7th November 2018 at 8:51 pm #66728AnonymousInactive
The sexes I mean xx
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7th November 2018 at 8:55 pm #66729AnonymousInactive
So many typos I’m sorry !
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7th November 2018 at 10:05 pm #66733IwantmebackParticipant
I hear you DIYmum. I too believe in the herafter, saw too many people who are no longer with us not to believe in something. Plus have you ever seen a cat or dog tuned in to a specific spot in your house, phew! Creepy or what! Its quite a comfort. You should look into angel numbers its very interesting. Love and truth always prevail. I think we’re on this journey for a greater reason, once we’ve survived it and are through the other side, i have a few ideas up my sleeve. I’d very much like to work with the government and msp’s/mps, get them to hear us, the survivors. But time will tell.
I have a friend who is a white witch, Samhain Is a great time of year. Autumn is my favourite time of the year too.
Best wishes to you and sending strength to keep going
IWMB ๐๐ -
8th November 2018 at 3:59 pm #66762AnonymousInactive
Hi IWMB ๐
Sending you strength back! I would like to get more involved too. I see they’re now thinking about teaching kids about domestic abuse in schools that’s meant to come into play in 2019. The ministry of health and education are looking for input from survivors right now. I think you can do that through women’s aid as a WA champion I always feel better when im busy! Anyway I hope today has been better for you I saw your post from earlier xx god bless you ๐ xx DIY ๐
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8th November 2018 at 4:43 pm #66763IwantmebackParticipant
Tapadh leibh mo charaid (thank you my friend). I realise i get despondent when ive not got a busy’ish day ahead. To much time to think, then getting the energy to do anything eludes me. I have so much planned to do tomorrow when I’m in my bed, not over much, just enough. I wake up, get up and ive forgotten what it was i was going to be doing. Its worse than baby brain๐i did feel better, just a momentary lapse. I think its important to post about that though, as it lets others know its not am easy road but we are all here for each other.
IWMB ๐๐ -
9th November 2018 at 6:21 pm #66802AnonymousInactive
Hi there IWMB ๐
I thought I had replied to you yesterday the words seemed to disappear into cyber space by mistake! yeh its not an easy road at all is it? Definitely good days and bad days. Yesterday was a tough day for me i was actually in tears replying to you maybe i clicked the wrong button because of that. I had called my elderly dad to see how he was as hes been feeling ill recently. He explained that my eldest daughter had come to visit him and she was sitting right beside him. I havent heard from her for a few months and the last time i actually saw her she was with her dad backing him up at court against me. Ive had one conversation with her since where by she said i am the abusive one and also that my own father thinks the same. she said my own dad thinks im crazy too!I am really close to my dad and i was able to grey rock all of it but it really hurts. Im not going to lie. So still having a bad day today. Just as i was thinking i wonder what my poor dad thinks of my relationship with my daughter? well non exsistent relationship as its been tarnished/destroyed by my ex. My dad ended up in hospital today the doctor put it down to chest pain due to stress.This really does have a ripple effect. I feel that sense of guilt again. i love my dad i guess all i can do is be 100% there for him. Try to move forward tomorrow. So im going to have a really good cry get it out and again focus on moving forward. I know myself this pain we feel dissipates. Thanks for listening/reading.
I hope all is good with you ๐ x*x DIY
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9th November 2018 at 7:01 pm #66805AnonymousInactive
Sometimes I think Iโm doing really great and Iโve managed to put it all behind me and other times I remember how broken I am.
I have to keep going although its really hard and I made my mum sad that I have to forgive myself every day for what was done to me.
I lost a lot when I left but the things I have gained have made that easier.
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9th November 2018 at 7:12 pm #66807IwantmebackParticipant
Hi DIY, that’s such sad news about your dad. No-one understands the ripple effect caused but the fallout of abusive relationships, whether staying in one or leaving.
I’ve dine the same with replying. Thought ive done it but deleted by mistake.
Maybe, just maybe with your dad being ill, maybe there’s a wee bit of hope you and your daughter may reconcile. I pray something good comes out of this whole sad situation youre in just now. crying all the pain away helps enormously, my OH hates when i cry. Stop greeting in my face, toughen up.
I really hope your dad gets well and things get easier.take care DIYxxHi Freedoms, that’s a lovely way to look on life.
IWMB ๐๐ -
9th November 2018 at 7:46 pm #66811AnonymousInactive
Hi IWMB and Freedoms,
Thanks to you both, im sure I will feel better tomorrow ๐ one thing ive learned through all of this mess is that I am very resilient. The same as you guys by the sounds of it! Is that what he says to you? you sound like a lovely lady you deserve so much more ๐ i dont think they have any idea of how it feels to hurt and really feel. I dont think you are truly alive if you dont have these real emotions. Im glad im not like these uncaring people because they will never truly experience love and how precious and beautiful that is. I pity them. This is mad but the last thing I said to my ex in court (and i will never see him again as he gave up) was thank you for letting us go and i forgive you. I wont forget but i wanted to do the right thing by myself. i just hope i can forgive myself now! x*x DIY
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9th November 2018 at 8:15 pm #66813IwantmebackParticipant
DIY how you handled yourself in court was exemplary. So ladylike ๐๐
You are so right, without good, kind thoughtful emotions noone is truly alive. Hate and bitterness and those kind emotions are not the kind i want in my life.
Forgiving ourselves is truly the hardest thing to do, especially where children are concerned.
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