What if iv done it again?

[Living Warrior]

Now this is going to sound so messed up, as my previous posts have been positive about moving on and I know it can be done!

I’m struggling atm and I don’t know whether its me looking at things as a victim or whether he isn’t who I thought…

He knows about my history, he wasn’t the reason I left, I met him a long time after and we have been together over a Yr.
He has had a terrible life and relationship problems previous too.

I trusted him with my life.. and he has never let me down but recently I find myself feeling upset, and annoyed at things he says and does.

Now I don’t know whether this is the usual part of a relationship where the things u loved b4 start to annoy our whether he has changed..

Has anyone ever experienced this?
Or got any advice?

[KIP.]

Hi, when you tell him you’re upset and annoyed at the things he says and does, does he have a rational conversation about how he can stop doing these things? Does he continue even after he knows they’re upsetting?

[Living Warrior]

Thank you KIP for your question, i think my paranoia about being in another dv relationship may have got the better of me, even though the banter did upset me and some of the stuff he did upset me too, and the fact he wasnt willing to hear my side at the time, just annoyed me more. We did talk after and sorted things out, but time will tell, i think it is just a stressful time atm and we need to focus on communication abit more.
I can get so overwhelmed sometimes and find myself slipping back into “checking” mode, being over-aware of actions, and i need to realise that sometimes there is just someone who cares, but snaps or does something i dont like, not because they delibratley want to hurt me (as before) but because they are frustrated and sometimes lash out inappropriatly. i will keep an eye on it, and i have said he cannot do that again, if there is something bothering either of us we need to talk about it and work through it together, what is the point otherwise!

thank you though for your reply. it means a lot, when i still havnt really got a confidant here, due to not being able to get out and make new friends due to covid lol

[Author]

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