Viewing 8 reply threads
  • Author
    • #8852

      Yesterday things were great, real positive thoughts for both mine and my little girl’s future.
      I started an alcohol reduction programme aswell and then …. I spoke to him again.
      He is just so different now said all he wants is for me and my little girl to be ok. No pressure!
      He has said he is done with everything and will not hurt me if and when I return to our house.
      He actually sounded genuine – said I can stay at the house while he has our little girl for contact and he will stay elsewhere.

      I just felt like I crashed last night and can’t deal with this anymore .
      I kept to my alcohol plan but had a really bad night when I finally got to sleep woke up in cold sweat again and had horrible nightmares again. So have been awake most of the night.

      Is this another trap of has he genuinely accepted the situation and the split ?

      I hate being on this rollercoaster so much and am so frustrated with myself… One phone all and I’m back to square one !’ 😢

    • #8857
      Falling Skys

      Hi Moon

      Well done with starting the alcohol reduction program, not easy at the best of times.

      Zero contact with your ex will be the best way forward.

      They can say all the things you want to hear but I don’t think I ever heard one that means it.

      Ii know it’s an awful time but it will improve.

      You can do this

      FS xx

    • #8883

      HI HUn

      Well done for going on program, first three days will be hardest then sweats will stop, go no contact tell himu need no contact for two weeks while u sort things out , watch his reaction then, they all say we can come bk, they wont stay away, they will for bit but then they get bk in house, get a occupancy order then move in if s s agree that way if he come sbk police can remove him. they do play this game with us, any contact can set us back as we loved them that s normal, all about brreaking the contact , just keep me posting and we wil guide u

    • #8904

      Hiya Moon
      No he will not of accepted anything it will be a trap for sure
      I think you need to tell him you need some time with no contact from him to get well and you will call him when you are feeling better . You won’t even want to call him when you feel better
      You need some space to heal and think about what you and your daughter want with out having your abuser in your ear swaying you with little more than words
      He has shown you with his actions who he is believe him
      Big hugs Moon x*x

    • #8907
      White Rose

      It’s that rollercoaster feeling. Hang on in there!
      Try to keep no contact.
      Well done you with the help you’ve accepted – keep up the good work, post when things get tough but keep it up it will be worth it x*x
      PS save the money you’d be spending on booze and lock it away somewhere safe (ideally savings account with no easy access!!) so in 6 months time or so you can treat you and little one to something nice, maybe a day at the seaside and eat nothing but ice cream all day (OK maybe not all day but at least have 2 each) have some chips on the beach so you won’t notice the salt from the sea on your hands and then have a ride on a roundabout or a donkey.

    • #8909

      White rose , thank you your reply really put a smile on my face 😀 Just sound like a lovely day without a care in the world.

      Thank you all for other repays – am so sorry I must be doing your heads in on this horrible rollercoaster.

      You can all see the answers so clearly so why can’t I ?
      I think I’m still holding out that everything will be ok in the end – but in my heart I know it won’t and the thought of leaving this safe refuge scares me.
      Maybe I’m the one that can’t accept the situation ???
      Been spoken to about getting orders in place but he doesn’t want me to – also been told to get a non mol I will need to tell them my first , worst and last incident .. Even that scares me 😢

      I’m try so hard to stick with my drinking plan but al I want to do is have a bottle and forget the world for a while !! Xx

    • #8917
      White Rose

      Be patient Moon. It’s early days. Take your time to make sense of it all and do not blame yourself for anything.
      If you can concentrate on the drink side that will help your health and mood a lot so be positive.
      I wish I knew the answers I really don’t! I’m a wreck at times and struggle like everyone does but I do perhaps accept it (might hate it but I accept it!!) more than I did initially. That doesn’t mean I agree with it or feel its right to have been abused but I do accept it happened now and am learning slowly to move forward bit by bit. It will always be part of my past but I’m hoping my future is better.
      Just take your time it will get better xxxx

    • #8920

      It’s been 3 weeks now and I’m doing my own grain – just want to make that break make those Decisions and go to police but I just can’t … Yet!!!

      I just want to feel some emotion about it all


    • #8921

      Ha meant doing my own brain in lol x

Viewing 8 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

© 2024 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ JobsAccessibility Guide

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

Skip to content