What is it like in a refuge?

[Redstar]

Hello

I’m quite nervous about living in a refuge, if I am offered one. I’m wondering what it is like.

It would be really great if anyone could give me some information about this?

What is it like?
Will I have my own little room/space with a lock?
Do support workers live in the residential area?

Any other info would be great to know too!

Thank you

[Twisted Sister]

Hi, yeah, I just put some info on your other thread that might partially answer your questions here and hopefully they’ll be helpful.

Not sure what you mean by where support workers live though. Do you mean are they living in the refuge with you? If so, I’d say not. Is this something that is key to your thinking around using a refuge?

warmest wishes

ts

[Redstar]

No it’s not key.

I just thought there might be refuge workers that have an office their and keep an eye on things maybe.

I think I’m just scared of being alone. I’m also worried how I will cope mentally as I have a mental illness that can get difficult some times.

I was just thinking. Will I need to buy some sort of lock for my things? I’m not doubting other women, I’m just so use to my things being looked through or taken etc

Thank you for your reply 🙂

[Twisted Sister]

you’re very welcome and I do understand what an anxiety inducing thing it can be the prospect of leaving all you know and going to somewhere unknown, it would be odd not to be feeling some anxiety about that.

As far as I know, only you and the other residents of the refuge are allowed into it, and you would have your key to your room. Its quite normal for residents to be locking their room when they leave it to say, go to the kitchen, or laundry. Keep your things of value on you maybe? Its worth asking your support worker whether they have any facility for safe-keeping.

If anything was taken from your room that would be treated in the same way as any other theft and you can report it as such as someone would have had to break in to take anything.

Keep yourself to yourself, and your room only for you if this will help you feel safe, but, like I say, do ask as soon as you are there, to be sure that you have reassurances of your safety, after all this is why you are there, to feel safe, and your key worker should encourage you to be raising any concerns with her of any issues whilst you are there so they can be addressed.

warmest wishes

ts

[Twisted Sister]

The refuge workers would I would say have their own offices they work out of, and some may do shift work to cover the open times of the refuge, and maybe a contact number at other times.

[Iwillbefree]

Hi,

I have been to 2 refuges. One very recently. Please don’t worry. It is not a bad place.
Both of mine have been lovely. Yes you only get a room and share a kitchen and bathroom. (This was my recent one). You have a lock on your room door and on kitchen cupboards. There is a main front door everyone has a key for. There is cctv at all entry points so they are safe places.
The one I went to years ago was with a child and I had my own flat. So it really depends on your circumstances.
The support workers are there Monday to Friday normal office hours. But there are on call numbers to contact someone if you need to.
I was exactly the same as you. How can I be on my own? My mental health will be bad. And all the other negative thoughts you have.
But please try it. Everyone there has been through similar experiences and everyone I met was lovely. We are all scarred in some way and there is an understanding in this with everyone. We all supported and looked out for each other. It was nice.
It was also a freeing experience for me. I could come and go. Popping to the shops. Eating when I wanted. All the little things we forget can be enjoyable. (You have to attend certain meetings etc with support workers but that’s the help we need).
The best thing for me there was the peace! That can never be underestimated. It allows you to think clearer. My mental health improved there.
Sorry I am waffling but I just want to reassure you it is OK at a refuge and it really helped me and I hope it can help you too. Xx

[Shygirlx]

Hi hope everyone is well. I am new to this forum. Me and my toddler will be going into a womens refuge sometime this week. I am just so scared to make the phonecall and i would like to live in my town but a different area as i am used to my town. Any advice please? I am so so nervous.do i call early morning on the day i want to go and they call me back? Or do they keep me on the phone and tell me where there is vacany?thankyou Xx

[StrongLife]

It’s a place for a short term stay.

It is better than where you are. There will be no raging man.

They did “tours” of the place too- perhaps you can ask for tour or photos

[Author]

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