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I’m a bit confused again about whether it is genuine abuse. He has been violent lately and threatening, I am totally aware that is abuse. But when it comes to sex I dont know if it is. He asks for it, and unless I say yes he is passive aggressive, makes little comments, or goes fully into a bad mood. I eventually end up doing it usually. I have lied about being sore and other things to get out of it because I know he will just go on and on and on. He has never forced me physically or anything like that and never would, and he isnt rough or not caring during either. So I dont know. I feel like it’s more a spoilt brat syndrome than anything really sinister. If I told him I felt pressured he would probably be surprised. He has cheated on me recently, whether they had sex I dont know. He says not but that has made me even more reluctant. He also in a bad mood a few weeks ago started saying it was vanilla and always had been which was very hurtful. So confused.
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Hi BT, so he’s violent and threatening and he’s cheated on you, and you feel pressured into having sex with him when you don’t really want to; and you’re with him because…
You got an exit plan forming yet flower?
Sex needs two consenting adults, no pressure. If it doesnt feel right then it isn’t is it. Sounds to me like you think it’s easier to have sex with him than put up with what will ensue if you say no. Not the best position to be in is it; if this was a friend telling you this what would you say to her? Not right is it, sounds like you’ve switched off part of you here in favour of trying to keep the peace x
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