what to do now?

[bubbles]

Hi ladies some of you may remember me some may not and some may be new and iv never met you. Well here’s my current situation and I need help so I left him years ago now I’m over him in happy I went through allot to get here but I am. He’s been to prison been released iv been moved for safety he found me kept away kept NC. I keep getting notes through my door he’s watching me. All this has been reported to the police, police can never find him and he never cones closer than posting notes.
Now iv met someone. We were friends and he went through a bad time I helped him through it his bad time was physical so we couldn’t do things and just remained friend but now he’s better we can get things started. I really like him he really likes me he’s so attentive even when he was a physical mess he was trying to sweetly wait on me hand and foot. We’ve gotten very close but how can i start things with the ex still about? I don’t want to let the new guy come to mine because I know I’m being watched (I think he knows some of my neighbours) but he’s driving now and its a pain me going to his all the time because he lives quite a drive away. What should I do? I really don’t want to drag him into my problems but I really want to be with him. The ex will never let up he’s told me he’ll be watching me forever wherever I go. I don’t antagonize the situation but I know being with someone else will make the ex do more and things will escalate to physical abuse. I’m so fed up there’s something I want right in front of me but I cant have it cos he’s getting in the way x

[Ayanna]

The only thing that can free you is a name change and another move to another city.

[Lisa]

Hi Bubbles,

I am so sorry to read about your situation. Your ex sounds very dangerous. Please do get in touch with your local Women’s Aid group. They can help you safety plan and can help you to see a future where you are safe and free from him. There are lots of options that you could consider from relocating in a refuge or from getting professional involvement and an injunction out against him so you could consider staying where you are. The important thing is for you to listen to your gut, if you feel that you are not safe and are at risk where you are then sadly you probably are. You know him better than anyone and if you know that you could never relax while you are in the same place as him then perhaps a refuge and relocation could be the answer.

Please do phone the helpline and get in touch with your local Women’s Aid group. Keep posting to let us know how you got on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[KIP.]

Have you tried setting up a secret camera? Talk to the police about this? im not moving. I’m staying put and fighting from a position of strength. My ex (detail removed by moderator) has many friends who could easily find me. I would have no life at all if I left my family ❤️ Stay strong and stay safe X I do think this man needs to know everything, it’s a lot to ask someone to become involved with this dysfunction without knowing what they’re getting into. Especially if you feel his safety may be at risk X

[bubbles]

Thankyou ladies. Relocation is a difficult one for ne I don’t want to uproot the kids again its not fair on them moving school etc plus he’ll only find me again.
I keep the notes until I get 4/5 the take them to the police its too time consuming to take them each time I get one. I have a restraining order on him already however he cant be found. I know where he drinks but the police are reluctant to get him from there. Iv reported him for driving wothout a licence most times drunk just so they’ll pick him up but they don’t seem to do anything about that either. I don’t see the issue as dangerous as it stands its only when I want to move on I think he’ll become violent. These men never let up do they? X

[Author]

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