What’s the point

[Peacethroughhealing]

I have finally found an officer who has been helpful and asked me to put together a timeline. I am feeling very disheartened tonight. It’s taken a year to get to this stage needlessly while he’s walked about free. He makes me sick. I have no evidence but I know what he did to me. He said he would destroy me and he gave it his best shot. I can’t forget and I want justice but it’s by no means a simple process. He has a previous conviction and another girl I knew he dated said he pushed her around. Three women and get the police won’t take it seriously. What’s the point. They just get away with it to do it all over again. I just wanted to be happy and I’m posting on here and spending my time putting together a timeline of abuse for the police.

[fizzylem]

Hi PTH, you’ve done well to get to this, keep going, sounds to me like someone is trying to help you here asking for this to take a look at it with you. Try not to get disheartened though, I think if the evidence is there it makes things easier, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not taking you seriously, maybe it’s more the case it’s because they havent got a lot to go on?

Reality isn’t like a TV crime drama is it, with officers available to investigate allegations, this is what I found anyway, police are under funded and short on the ground, often inexperienced as well these days, and unless there is violence or the crime is clear they don’t seem to have people to investigate things to me. If they can charge him they will I’m sure, doesn’t mean it didnt happen though does it, means there isn’t enough evidence.

The best revenge is in success and getting the life you want really. I feel my ex has committed a henious crime, he’s damaged my child! And we have both suffered in many ways for years; can’t get him charged for any of it, as it’s mainly emotional abuse, a minor assault, minor financial abuse, even though I have plenty of evidence re what has ensued, no one was even willing to look at it at the police station, so I’ve just had to let it go, feel much better for this, but I had to at least try and speak to them, and understand why they thought they couldn’t take it any further first.

This enabled me to see how they can help as well though, which has been useful and needed, the lesson I learnt was that I need to call them at the time of the incident, which I do now, so it is reported at the very least – as this can be viewed as evidence. They will speak to him also if they think this is needed, to give him a warning; usually needs to be a few of these incidents before they start to see the picture, the patterns in his behaviour; or like in your case, other charges or reports. I can see I should have called when he assualted me but at that time it didnt even enter my head, as daft as that sounds now, which I feel pretty sure you will relate to.

Sometimes what feels wrong to us is wrong yes, but it can’t be viewed as a punishable crime – yet – like you’ve already said, you have little evidence, so if it comes down to he said she said its difficult for them to act isn’t it, imagine if anyone could go in and say what they liked and they were punished based on what was said, without evidence? We couldn’t have this could we and this is perhaps what you’re asking them to do?

Do what you’ve got to do yes, explore it, see if you can get any evidence together, which I think you’ve explored havent you and can see it’s not enough, but by doing this you now know this and can use what you have to supprt your statement; but this time, the best you might be able to hope for is that you have reported it. You could ask them about Claire’s law and they might attach this report to this? I’ve never asked or done this myself so I’m not entirely sure what happens for this x

[Anonymous]

Hi Peacethroughhealing

I know the feeling…I reported my ex a while ago to the police and there still collecting evidence. I had bruises, there’s evidence he harassed my family, evidence he made false allegations against me and even photo and video footage of the abuse…..all this evidence and the police said there’s a very very small chance it will go to court. He also has previous convictions. It’s not right or fair 🙁 x

[Author]

Posts