When did you feel safe relocating to the area you used to live?

[TakingMeBack]

I was wondering what everyones personal experience is with moving.

I moved out of (detail removed by Moderator) as I can’t function there due to extreme anxiety. I have gotten a lot better not having to go through this everyday, but I loved where I lived and I lived there before him.

I’m starting to miss the (detail removed by Moderator) but I have absolutely no notion of moving just now, even a day out there would be a massive toll on me mentally.

But surely I will feel able to go back at one point years down the line?

What is everyone’s experience with this situation?

[fizzylem]

For me I took the anxiety with me, it eased yes but can still flare. I think it’s about doing whatever it is to try and feel safe again in the world, but I’m not sure I ever will feel truly safe again as part of healing is accepting that we are vulnerable, at any time, because all humans are, so living with this awareness does bring anxiety too sometimes. When I feel like this I first check if there is anything I can do to help me safe again, and I pull in my support, give myself what I need, a trip home to be with family, coffee with a freind, a chat with someone in my support network that understands me and domestic abuse, a day to myself, doing something nice witk my child, guess I use distraction therapy. I am still terrified of him, he’s not very bright and reactive, hateful, still volitile to this day after we’ve been seperated for years, but I no longer deal with him, if he’s respectful in his comms I will respond and if not I don’t. I don’t get into anything with him; I don’t respond if it’s not relevant to our childs care, sometimes he tries to make it about our childs care and I don’t go there either. I’m fully aware of my rights, my child’s and his and he actually has very few now I have resident parent ordered. I guess I have changed massively regarding how I deal with him, I simply don’t tolerate it anymore, and if the police are needed I call, knowing I will do this brings me ‘some’ peace, I adopt the attitude now they can deal with him. He doesn’t know where we live though, and this helps and I still feel the need to keep a diary – record what is happening and when just incase, I could do without doing this but at the same time it helps me to feel I am doing something to protect us x

[Weak Link]

Hi TakingMeBack, I’m sorry to read about your anxieties.

I am still with my abuser, but I am in the process of trying to leave. I am glad you asked this question as it has crossed my mind many times too.

I hope someone has the answers.

[Author]

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