I have a dear friend. Like me she’s in a difficult marriage with a complex controlling man. She tried to get away (detail removed by moderator) but it didn’t work out. After DV towards (detail removed by moderator), she was given a social worker as the fact she didn’t stop it was recognised that she was also abused and scared. She’d had a (detail removed by moderator) etc in the past.
The SW encouraged her to leave but she didn’t. Now she’s in a terrible state. Has gone totally uncommunicative and hardly eating so lost a lot of weight. I’m so worried for her but can see what she is doing. She’s leaving her s****y marriage by starving herself. She’s refusing all treatment. She’s given up. Her girls are leaving home and she will be left with him.
When I picked up what she was doing it resonated with me. During lockdown I considered self harm and suicide. And then I realised that if I could get out of my marriage. Make the move I’d get my life back. Otherwise I could end up like her. I don’t know how to help her but if I get out and she’s still with us she could come and stay.
It was the moment for me to stop kidding myself things would ever improve and recognise that I was rarely happy, always scared and trying to make myself very small and quiet to stay out of trouble.