When does it end?

[TC]

I am so exhausted physically and mentally. I just need to know that one day this will stop. I know I need to find the strength to leave but will it ever go away? Even when he’s not here I think he is and jump at daft things, if I manage to fall asleep I wake up to find him having sex with me, having had a nightmare or heard a noise I assume is him
I want the pain to stop, I want him to stop and I want to make this all go away, flashbacks, nightmares, all of it.
I know only I can do this but I’m so scared. Maybe I just need to try again, maybe I’m being unfair on him xx

[Rosemary]

Hi idiot

Sorry what your going thought with have nightmares
And flash backs I do feel for you I had nightmares of my ex husband being voilet towards me I went thought truma the dreams are horrible I cry In my Dreams and I wake up crying from my dream with tears down my face and i just cant stop crying its horrible because the truma I went thought comes in to my dreams

I understand how you must be feeling if you should give him a other chance you must love him is your partner abusive towards you? Is this why you are scared of him ? I was told that men who are abusive controling and violent never charge they get worse but I am not to sure if men do change over time and think what they are doing .

Why do you think your being unfair ? Toward your partner I hope I can help you and support you .

[TC]

Writing this makes me realise how daft I am being, yes he’s been abusive, mentally physically, sexually escalated very quickly but it is almost like he may as well be doing it all again as it feels so real. I’m scared to sleep in terms of what he might do but also I can’t control my thoughts when I’m asleep and relive so many things but isn’t stop it. At least if I’m awake I can try.
I wake up drenched in sweat and tears and convinced it’s happening again.

I’m being unfair because he’s had a rough time and he doesnt mean it. I think.

[Lottieblue]

Dear Poster,

I read your very first post and I understand that you are struggling with your feelings of self-worth at the moment, but please, please let the first thing you do be to contact Lisa, as she suggested, and change your name. Let us know it’s you, though. I think that all the wonderful ladies on this site will find it very hard to use the name you have given yourself and I fear that, as a result, you may be missing out on some very valuable advice. This forum has been a life-saver (quite literally) for a very large number of women so that please don’t miss out on the chance to have them help you too.

The second thing you must do is to make contact with Women’s Aid. It’s really important that you start reaching out, asking people to help you, and then allowing them to do so. None of us who find ourselves in this situation is happy to be here, we all struggle with admitting that there is a problem, but at some point we have to accept the help that others can give us and from that point we are able to grow stronger, see a way forwards and, eventually, take it. It is little steps but we have to start somewhere.

Please come back and let us know your new name!

We love and support you.

LB 💕💕

[TC]

I did contact them to change my username but have nothing back and it says I need them to do that
May be it’s karma and I don’t deserve help

[Lottieblue]

I’m so pleased that you did that – well done! I’m not sure why that hasn’t been actioned yet but I am certain it will be.

You are SO brave coming on here. Please keep coming back – even if you feel more comfortable just watching what goes on. We all want to help. We’ve all been through pain of one sort or another. You absolutely do deserve help. It’s just so, so hard when we are made to believe that we deserve nothing. That is what these men do to us. We are made to feel worthless. But it’s not true.

If you haven’t already made contact with your local Women’s Aid, please do if you possibly can. I can tell you with 100% certainty that they will understand how you feel and they will be able to help you start to find a way out of the dark hole you are in.

We are all here for you. We’ve got your back. 💕💕

[Lisa]

Hi there,

I replied to your email last week regarding changing your username. I will send you a private message on here now to follow up incase emails are getting lost.

Please do keeping posting to us when you are able to, there is so much support here for you.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[TC]

Won’t post again
Thank you x

[Anonymous]

Hi,
I know how you feel and it took me many years to leave my abusive husband. It’s hard but so much easier than staying and being treated this way. You have great taken a brave step coming forward it to me a long time to reach out for help.
Please do reach out to your local women’s aid and start by putting a safety plan in place.
Sending you strength and love.

[Author]

Posts