When does it ever stop hurting

[Canon]

It’s been well over (detail removed by moderator) yet here I am in bits!
(Detail removed by moderator)  He’s been in court again and probation have sent his appointment to MY house!! WHY???!!

This has just triggered off my ptsd massively. Just can’t cope right now and wish he would just leave us alone! He’s made no contact but I’ve had an increase in post for him again all of a sudden recently. Kept sending it back – but this one I opened with my lost my mistake. Why can’t he stay out of our lives?!!

 

 

[EbonyRaven]

That must have been a horrible shock. He can’t have changed his address with everyone.

Some large organisations have a particular department to write to to have your address removed. Sending the letter back with ‘not at this address’ or similar doesn’t work because it goes to a sort of central mailbox and isn’t dealt with the same way.

It is worth calling, or emailing, the organisations and asking them for the address to write to because you are receiving mail for someone who does not live at your address. You don’t have to go into it more than that.

xx

[Canon]

Thanks, I did do that with a lot of things initially, and it did stop the post. It’s been nearly (detail removed by moderator)yrs since I got rid of him, the odd letter here or there – probably marketing stuff or whatever I can understand. But I’ve also had one from a finance company (same one he took finance out on just after I got rid of him), I’ve then had a bailiff at my door last year because he had missed payments – told them he didn’t live here, gave them police ref etc for when I’d had him removed, gave them his new address etc… didn’t hear from them but now keep getting letters here from the finance company again, as I’ve rang them before I’ve just been sending the letters back now.

It had pretty much settled down until I saw him not long ago – then all of sudden more letters coming here again. Could be a coincidence but to have a probabtion appointment letter come here?? I’ve spoken with social worker today, she says is harrassment and is contacting probabtion for me as she says he must have given me address recently due to only recently having them involved again.

I’m looking to hopefully move -that way I can have a fresh start where he’s not living up the road from me and can’t keep getting stuff sent to my house.

[EbonyRaven]

I see, that’s horrible. They’re so devious aren’t they, finding these ways to get at us? I’m glad you have someone supporting you and that this will get sorted out.

I’d have been very tempted not to contact probation so that he missed his appointment and got arrested. Well done for being the bigger person.

Hope you find somewhere nice to move to that suits you perfectly.
x

[Canon]

Thanks, believe me I was very tempted to not say anything about the letter so that he’d miss the appointment! It’s only because I’m struggling so much and the letter has been a massive trigger that I ended up telling the social worker about it, she’s really lovely and easy to talk to, and there was no point me trying to pretend I was ok – she could see I wasnt!

She suggested I contact the police about him sending the letter here as she thinks it’s a deliberate attempt to harrass me. I don’t know if I should or not? He has been told by them not to contact me. I’m seriously considering an injunction but don’t know if I’d be granted one as it’s been a few years since I left him.

[KIP.]

Can you instruct the post office not to deliver anything to your address with his name on it? To return to sender everything and explain your circumstances. Or get your social worker to arrange it. I found it incredibly triggering to see stuff with his name on it. Everything went back in the post box. “Return to sender. Addresses not at this address” It was dreadful.

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