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    • #170515
      Littlepixie
      Participant

      I’m so hurt and angry right now. I know I probably shouldn’t but I check my son’s phone every now and then. He’s (detail removed by Moderator). His dad and him text back and forward when he’s not there. I saw a text to my son about money because he wanted to buy something. He went on a rant about money and said ask your mother as she’s the one with all the money. He earns over twice as much as me a month. He then said to our son that maybe he was more like his (detail removed by Moderator) mother than he thought.
      I walked away from our family home and our car. I’ve barely asked him for a penny since I moved out. We still have a joint account (we also both have our own) just while we sort our bills etc and apart from giving my son money I’ve not touched it.
      I never say anything negative about him to our son as I’m trying to make everything as amicable as I can for our son. Our daughter wants nothing to do with him.
      We text the odd time about bills etc and most of the time it’s ok but other times he will make some snide or passive aggressive comment which puts me back to where I was. I feel like I’ll never be free from this x

    • #170538
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Littlepixie,

      This sounds really touch. It must be heart-breaking to see your ex speaking to his son in this way and bad-mouthing you along with it. So often, survivors will do all that they can to protect the relationship between their abuser and their children, only to be met with this kind of behaviour. It’s an expression of his unwillingness to take any responsibility and instead make it all about you and what you’re doing. It’s disrespectful to you and to your son but isn’t about the reality of who you are. He’s being emotionally abusive and controlling towards your son. Angrily ranting and then belittling your son by saying that he’s like you (and making sure it’s understood that he thinks being like you is bad) is his attempt to stop your son asking about money again by making him scared of what will happen if he does. I’m sure that you already talk with your children about how they deserve to be treated and what to do if something is making them feel bad, but it might be worth speaking to your son about this issue to see how he’s feeling.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

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