This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Watersprite 2 weeks, 3 days ago.

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  • #115018
     TinkaBella 
    Participant

    So I haven’t posted or even been on here for a while. Things have been better and I was starting to question what I was even doing. Have I just been exaggerating everything? And enjoying the good while it lasted. But then something jolts you back. Not physical, although I have started to become aware that he might throw something at me. But no, it’s more the emotions put downs and the mind games. To cut a long story short he asked me for something and I said no, first time I think I have done before. And of course he didn’t like it… I’m selfish, only care about myself and can just f**k off. But the way he talks is so matter of fact, like it’s just normal language and he can’t see that it is hurtful & offensive. I get ignored, but then he cooks dinner as if nothing has happened. But then he starts again, being abusive and rude about the people around me and that I care about so much. Making me feel ashamed about the person I am and doubt everything about the way I live my life. I’m sorry this is a complete ramble. I’m just done with feeling this way. I’m become more and more envious of friends and their happy relationships, that’s not me and I don’t want to end up bitter. When he gets me down like this my thoughts start spiralling and I feel down about all sad things. It takes all my energy to keep going and keep strong. Oh well tomorrow is a new day.

  • #115024
     gettingtired 
    Participant

    Mine will cook us dinner despite if there’s an argument before saying I’m not having any and I can get my own. 9 times out of 10 he always makes me some though which I thought was him feeling bad about saying I cant have any. Maybe it is, maybe it isnt. It’s exhausting trying to work them out.
    I’m not a bitter person either but look at ‘normal’ relationships and cant help but feel a twinge of slight bitterness.. like how could I have ended up with this cr*p. Used to think love conquers all and that we were soul mates so I just needed to put up with it and try to change in some way. I’m slowly realising I was wrong all along.
    Take care, hope you have a better day tomorrow x

  • #115032
     Watersprite 
    Participant

    Hello You are describing gaslighting and this kind of psychological abuse is just so destabilising and knocks our confidence and self esteem it keeps us where they want us – controlled. Reach out to women’s aid read up on gaslighting. The nice bits never really last do they …. you deserve so much more x

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