When i were

[Anonymous]

With my ex partner.. i used to ask what had happened in his marriage as he were going through a divorce. They had a son with special needs. He said she were spending the money from the joint bank account. He said she were financially abusive. Apparently she went to court and got him out of there home.. he said she were acusing him of financial abuse so went down the domestic abuse route. He also said that when he had access to his son his ex once sent the police round to his house to do a welfare check on his son. Theres lots that just dont add up. He said shes evil and were terrified of her ever finding out about me…. i asked why?? He said she would go straight to social services to do a check on me…. i had a peek on her facebook and she seems a decent women. And she once wrote how shes at peace now…. and people have said there glad things are picking up for her and shes happy… i were never sure what to make of it x

[diymum@1]

this is a red flag the first one to be waved at you in most cases. if hes bad mouthing his ex to you this is a bad sign. hes obviously been abusive to her by the sounds off it. women do make things up about men dont get me wrong but in most cases men who bad mouth their exs have something to hide and we know abusive men dont take responsibility. have you ever looked at the separated dads website? some genuine but some just in total denial xx

[Anonymous]

Thanks d.i.y mum. Do you think i were right to end things? He seemed anxious all the time. He said he had counselling because of her financial abuse x

[diymum@1]

yeh youd have put yourself through hell by the sounds off it. to be finacially abusive towards his family and his child has a disability that shows he has no morals at all. hes turned it on her like they do xx projection xx its actually his confession

[Anonymous]

He said she were accusing him of financial abuse. Bht for her to go to court and get him out of there home they had to be evidence. Whys he so terrified of her finding out about me when i were with him… maybe she will advice me to keep away. He were very selfish all about him. But did throw in a few nice things here and there. His dad basically said you will get nowhere with him hes useless. X

[diymum@1]

you could find out for sure through claires law? safest option? theres no smoke without fire these people are warning you for good reason xx

[Cecile]

This is a similar to my life story and his relationships. Only found out after decades that the ex he bad mouthed had been abused by him. He told everyone she did certain immoral acts that ended the marriage. All lies. I feel so stupid for never questioning this.

[diymum@1]

i remember going to family court and my ex decided to bring along the new gf to say ‘look at me im normal!’ huh ? it was clear i wasnt what she was expecting because i look like the most unscarey and unintimidating person youd ever see – im small xx she left after 10 mins and i knew why xx it was clear i wasnt the baddy he painted me – not at all xx

[Anonymous]

He were dating even while married while going through a divorce. He said when he challenged his ex about the finances she threw a shoe at him i dont know what were true… x

[Iwantmeback]

Hi icandothis, love your name by the way. I too never questioned my oh about the whys of his marriage breaking down. He blamed it on her anyway, said she was the abusive ONE, made up lies to stop him seeing his children unless supervised. These men make us do things out of character, so throwing a shoe is perfectly understandable. Abusive behaviour can be so subtle, you don’t know what’s going on, can’t pinpoint anything but your body reacts to it subconsciously. The body knows, is a book available as an ebook, it’s quite an insightful read.
IWMB 💞💞

[Author]

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